Please tell me 2 children is going to be ok?

[milkyman]

I'm 10wks pregnant at age 40, not planned. Total shock. Terrible birth and pnd with ds. He will be 3.5 when baby born. Dreading it as struggled so much. Have heard so many horror stories on how hard two are. Please give me reassurance. Have supportive dh but not round much during the week.

To echo what some others have said, I found the second baby easier than the first. Babies are dull and having bigger kids around is loads more fun. The baby just kind of tagged along until she (and then he, I have three ) could join in.

Ds is 10 weeks, Dd was 2.8 when he was born. It's been much better than anticipated; yes I'm tired but she adores him, hasnt regressed or become jealous at all. He just kind of fits in, sleeps on the go, cries a bit more than she ever had to when waiting. I look forward to him sleeping through the night but really the day to day isn't so bad.

Also, my first Birth was days long, traumatic with ventouse and 3rd degree tear. Number 2 was out in half a day with nothing but a graze. Could you elect for a caesarian if the birth scenario is causing you a lot of anxiety? Then you can tick that stress off your list and just concentrate on planning for the arrival of your baby.

I was really worried about how I would cope. DD1 was 2.5 when DD2 was born. DD2 is now 4months old and we're managing, you tend to find a way. Some days are long and hard, especially as DD1 is entering the 'threenager' stage, but you cope because you have to.

I wanted a second but it wasn't exactly planned. I had some serious moments of dread after finding out I was pregnant with DC2.

I had the most amazing pregnancy - way better than first time, no stress, no massive swelling, no long hospital visits like the first time. And DC2 is the light of my life. She's an incredible baby.

I had an ELCS for medical reason, a friend of mine also has one for DC2 as she'd had such a traumatic birth first time (she was 40 like you) and said it was so much better than her previous experience.

Another friend had awful PND first time and was fine a second time.

Basically, you can have a different experience this time - and having two is tough at first, but seeing mine playing together now the little one is walking is just lovely :)