Where has my lovely toddler gone?

[Writerwannabe83]

I have a gorgeous DS who turned 18 months a few days ago and over the last 6 weeks or so his behaviour has completely changed.

He tantrums if he doesn't get his own way, usually throwing himself on the floor with a scream.

He's throwing toys constantly and has started throwing his food around too.

When he's told off for something he will pick up the nearest thing he can see: mobile, mug, tv remote etc and hurl it across the room in anger.

He's snatching quite roughly.

If I tell him off for something he has now started hitting me on my arms, my chest, my face, just anywhere he can reach really. He has pinched me on one occasion too.

Everything has started to become a battle, brushing his teeth and changing his nappy etc

It's all a little bit trying but I'm hoping it's just his age. I'm trying to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good but it's not easy at times...

Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this and it's normal behaviour for his age??

Normal, (sorry!)

It will get better (by the time he is about 4).

Good luck and try to remain the adult if you can (this will not be possible EVERY time he drives you to distraction!)

My DS was like this, but maybe a bit older, probably 2 ish. He's 3 now and while he is still strong willed, the tantrums and hitting seem to have tailed off and he's full of affection and cuddles again (touch wood!)

Decide on your 'rules' (sounds a bit harsh but you know what I mean) and stick to them like glue and it will definitely help the phase pass faster because he will learn that whatever the time of day, wherever you are, however tired you are etc. the answer/reaction/whatever is always the same.
Consistent and persistent is the only way with toddlers plus a lot of pre empting and distracting and will stand you in good stead for decent behaviour further down the line. It's exhausting though and you have my every sympathy. I think they thrive on a rough routine at this age too as it makes them feel a bit more in control. A treat for you post bed time helps a lot too!

Writer we're a month behind you and starting to notice a definite change in my DD. She's become much more aware of what she wants and is quite vocal in airing her views- no, mummy sit etc. If we take something off her or stop her from doing something it is like her world is ending and we have tears immediately. She's also become really clingy with me which is a little draining as mummy has to do everything and it's no daddy !

Plus we've had another incident of biting at nursery this week- first time it's not as a direct result of being provoked ie someone else pushing her etc so not good.Having said that she is teething again and she's already got all her canines through so looks like second molars on the move judging by the bumps on her gums.

We're trying lots of distraction wherever possible and I'm starting to give her some choices- do you want to wear your coat or your fleece etc? Her understanding is good so guess it might help her to feel bit more in control. She's still young but just trying anything! Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier when they turn 3...only another 18mo to go!

Keep a running commentary of what's happening and what's going to happen helped a bit for us. And being a bit flexible.

I don't think mine and my DH's different parenting styles are helpful. He's much more laid back so I think DS can get away with quite a lot when he's in his dad's care

He's gotten so clingy too. He wants to be on me all the time and breast feed all the time. I'm mentally drained by it all. Sometimes I just want to sit on the sofa in peace without him pulling at my clothes and sticking his hands in my bra!!

writer 20mo here and similar. It's been building for a month or so but now exhausting. I'm 7mo pg too. DP is SAHD and way stricter than me, I'm anything for an easy life at the mo so DS gets the telly, biscuit or whatever rather than me chase and wrestle plastic bag or other thing from him. I'm sure my laziness is not helping!

In literally the last week bedtime has gone from easy-breezy (lifting arms up to be put in bed, self settling) to an hour or so of tears, screaming, chasing etc. Ever earlier wakings with clock-change on the horizon.

I'm hoping that it'll improve as he learns to talk more... So no advice really. Just solidarity. I'll try to be persistent and consistent as PP said, but I'm dreading the baby's arrival right now, so hope we see some improvement sooner rather than later.

Is he talking much yet? Ds gets very frustrated coming up to a milestone and his behaviour was very challenging for a few months before he started talking. I try to praise /give attention to any positive behaviour, ignore minor things /whinging /sulks and as much as possible 'natural consequences ' for other things -I give a verbal warning eg. I will take the food away if you keep throwing it, then follow through. I also try and involve him with 'helping' tidy up any mess, giving lots of praise if he picks food off the floor /helps mop up spilt drinks.

Distraction is your friend. 'Oh look there's a digger/aero plane/dog' in the most excitable voice you can muster.

And lots of warnings, 'we are going to do this and then this'.

I make deals a lot - ok we can go down and watch fireman Sam but first we need to brush your teeth etc.

And give him options to choose from (when you don't really mind what he picks).

You probably need a set of firm ground rules with your Dh for tacking this so you are both doing the same thing when he hits or throws.