I need help

[LifeIsChaos]

I need help with my ds's. Aged 5.4 and 4. One is in year1 and one in nursery.

Everyday is a battle and it's getting worse. The fighting, arguing amongst themselves and the cheek is driving me up the wall.

Ds1 is usually a delight, but since starting y1 he's become very rude and cheeky. I've tried reward charts/ removing toys/treats/time outs and even put him to bed early at 6pm but nothing works he just laughs at me.

Ds2 is an imaginative and very articulate little boy. Very strong willed and can be bossy. School runs are a nightmare as he runs off etc and again I've tried all of the above methods with him.

Together they create merry hell. They wind each other up, tag team me, fight over everything to the point of tears. It's a nightmare. I'm exhausted.

How can I get them back under control?

Be firm and consistent. Your 5yo is trying out his boundaries with you, he needs to know how far he can push towards getting his own way. Your 4yo is a daffy 4yo and my DS is very similar

If they are winding each other up and you are bored of refereeing you must separate them: get one to do a jigsaw in one room, the other can be playing in his bedroom, one can be reading his school book to you in the kitchen as you prep dinner, the other can be drawing a picture. Put one in the garden with a scooter or a football, 5 minutes later the other one can swap with him etc.

Choose your battles too. Road safety is a crucial one, get him to hold your hand, promise him a reward if he walks nicely with you.

When things get bad, give the warning and the consequence if they don't listen, then I count back from 10 and they know there is a consequence if I get to zero. Thankfully, now mine are 5 and 8 I rarely have to say any number other than 10.

I've dealt with all of the same stuff as you, it does get easier.

Thanks for the tips. I completely agree with you about the road safety. I carry a small packet of sweets with me on the school run, show him them and tell him if he walks nicely and holds my hand with no fuss then he will get them. They are still in my pocket. I'm tired of carrying a kicking screaming four year old up the street

My DS is daft around roads when in a silly mood. I made sure I told his teacher, even though that upset DS, the class talked about road safety that afternoon in school and for the last few days he's been really co-operative. He's been proving he's looking left and right and judging when we all cross now and is thriving on the praise for doing it properly.

(We've had 3 hair raising incidents in the last week)

Well nursery run when smoothly as he was concentrating on keeping his model he spent 69 thousand hours building safe.

Let's see how the school run goes.

I wish I'd not told them they were not having their weekly treat of soft play today as I'm fed up of being in the house with them arguing.

Take them out somewhere else. Park, bikes up and down the street? Don't go to soft play if you've told them no but it's a good idea to do something active when they have all of that excess energy.