Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Telling children about terminal illness

2 replies

Thaigal · 30/11/2006 10:37

My uncle has had a brain tumour for the past 4 years, it is a very aggresive type and completely incurable. My two children (5 and 7) know my uncle, they're not really close but they've seen him, spoken to him, he gives them money/sweets etc when he see's them and plays with them and they do like him.

2 weeks ago he was taken into hospital, whilst in there he had a suspected stroke and has lost the feeling in his right arm and right leg as well as losing his speech, parts of his memory etc, after having a brain scan they found that the tumour has started to grow again and it's not looking good, we don't think he has long left , he's now bed ridden, confused, unable to walk, speak or even hold a cup...what do I tell the kids?

They had no idea he was ill at all, no idea about the brain tumour, they don't know he's in hispital, should I mention it to them? What I'm thinking is how do I tell them when something happens? they're going to want to know why a...what they see as a healthy 45 year old man suddenly died...my 7 year old is petrified of death at the best of times and if he thinks someone just dropped down dead he will be terrified that it will happen to him. If I tell them he's seriously ill they will be "prepared" in a way but then would I be worrying them unneccassarily? should I just wait until it happens?

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 30/11/2006 10:42

I think it's quite a difficult one - I believe in honesty (so I would tell them now) but you'll need to be prepared for lots of questions (why did he get it? will I get it? etc.) and possibly quite a bit of upset from them.

Our neighbour (who we were very close to) had cancer which suddenly took a turn for the worst and over a period of 6 weeks she went from chatting to us over the fence to being on life support and eventually dead. I told the children once she was in hospital. They were very upset and for a while, very scared that either they were going to get cancer or me or dh were going to get it.

It's hard to explain things like tumours or cancer to children because we don't even know why some people get them.

CAMisole · 30/11/2006 10:48

Thaigirl I think its best to say that he is very ill to begin with. My MIL died on Saturday after being diagnosed with terminal cancer only a couple of months ago. I prepared dd (age 9) by saying that she was very ill, then kind of prgoressed the idea until dd realised that her grandma wasn't going to get better.
It was probably easier in our case as I could use the fact that grandma was really really old (85).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page