Needed - idiot's guide to party etiquette

[Dontloookbackinanger]

Recently relocated and haven't made any good friends locally yet. DS (nearly 3YO) has started nursery 2 mornings a week but we haven't met many parents. I thought it'd be nice to have a party for DS' birthday (it will be his 1st) at the local petting zoo, so parents can come along too and can meet each other.

But I'm worried that people wont come to a party where they don't know the parents. Also, I have no idea about etiquette - how far in advance do you give out invitations, do you do food for parents too, should I invite whole class (including children who do different days from my son), do I give invitations to teacher to hand out? Is there anything else I should be aware of?

Please help, I'm feeling disproportionately stressed about this.

So my view is this. Ask for the list of who attends his nursery in his room, with the ones attending the same mornings highlighted. Depending on numbers and how many you would like at the party you could start with those attending the same days and extend out from there based on responses. You can also ask who he plays most with to be sure you include them - ask the staff and your son.

With regards notice it partly depends on when the party is and if it's likely to clash with other things (think especially around school holidays when people with an older child may take time off and go on holidays), and the more risky the date the more notice. I would suggest 2 months is the longest and no less than 1 month.

I don't think parents will care that they don't know the parents before accepting an invite and at 3yrs old all will be expecting to stay anyway.

While the petting zoo can be a lovely party, from personal experience of that type of party, there often is less opportunity for mixing with other parents, as everyone's kids run off to look at what they want to look at which is often spread out and nowhere near other people. So if that is one of your goals (to meet parents) I personally would do something like hire a small hall and get an entertainer, or bouncy castle etc, that way all parents will still stay (due to age) but will be standing around chatting and mingling while kids have fun.

On your other questions, yes give invites to teachers to hand out, no you do not need to feed the parents (I have been to one or two which did, but they are very rare and definitely not expected), and the only other things you should be aware of is that there are certain people who will simply not RSVP, and it does not always mean they are not attending - annoying in the extreme.

Good luck x

I definitley agree with the pp, parties at a petting farm will not give you a chance to meet other parents! We done one ourselves and got a few brief comments but that was it! Hall parties tend to be more friendly as the parents aren't liking after there children as much and will have more chance to chat.

The parties I've been to don't usually cater for adults. The ones that have it didn't get eaten. A few nibbles such as crisps or maybe a cupcake etc that is offered round would be best if you finest to offer food. If it's a hall party I would invite everyone as it makes a better atmosphere. Otherwise just those who attend at the same time.

I agree that a hall party is more likely to have the meet-the-parents atmosphere you want. The kids are everywhere at petting farms - with a hall you can shut the doors and contain them, so the parents will relax and have more tuime to socialise.

I'd invite the children who go on your DS's mornings, then if you have the budget and are looking to increase his hours at nursery this year, invite the rest of the class. Especially at nursery age, I would definitely take my DC to parties even if I didn't know the parents - mostly I don't know the parents, so my DC wouldn't go to parties if I didn't!

Thanks so much for the responses and suggestions. I really appreciate it! I did think about a hall type party, but as there's only 14 in his year, I wondered if the group would be too small?
Thanks also for info on timing for invitations - I had no idea I had to be so organised.

For that number I'd invite all, hire a small hall and keep it simple with a bouncy castle and maybe hire a few happy hopperz which many bouncy castle companies also hire out - here is an example www.bigbouncelittlebounce.co.uk/for-hire/happy-hopperz but depends where you are located. I have been to a party with these hoppers and they are great for a younger ages, so if people attend with younger siblings in tow (common with 3yr olds) they can also have a play. Keep it to under 2hrs long and make sure timing is such that they can play for about an hour then bring food out. Hope it goes well xx

If you think there's too few for a hall party, try soft play instead and reserve a table for the parents. Buy them all a tea or coffee and they'll sit and chat!

14 is plenty for a 3yo's party.
We have always done food for parents, but I sometimes get a vibe that it's unusual. Owing to the time of the birthday meal (restricted time slot in the hall we use) some of the adults don't eat much.

14 3yos? Bloody hell, that's loads - they'll easily goad each other into such a state of excitement, it'll feel like a hundred!

Seriously, TBH I wouldn't fancy a gathering of more than that. Sounds like a perfect number.