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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you call your child a moron?

7 replies

somersetsoul · 20/09/2015 21:19

My ex thinks its hilarious to call our 7 and 5yo dd a moron. When I asked him not to it did it right in front of me. Its not malicious its in jest but I really dont think its appropriate.

He also encourages them to fight which now seems to include punching in the face.

What can I do? I have spoken to the children and told them its wrong but this is obviously confusing them. Asking him to stop seems to make him do it more. Help!

OP posts:

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Ilovemybabygirls · 20/09/2015 22:52

I don't think you have any authority or control whatsoever with your ex or dc at this moment in time. This is potentially an extremely dangerous position for your children and for you. Without a doubt your ex is displaying abusive and violent behaviour, allowing them to fight each other, almost like dog fighting is abuse.

A complete and final ending to his time with your dc is the first step, legal advice and reporting this behaviour is your second step and a restraining order is the third.

Be in no doubt that your children are in danger, this is completely unacceptable and you absolutely must protect them.

Assuming you have been a victim already, given he is an ex, and you seem so accepting of this and questioning this kind of behaviour, you badly need some support. Well done for coming here for help, but please never think that this is normal or acceptable....it really isn't and there are many people who can help you.

Bulbasaur · 21/09/2015 07:41

It's all in context. Is he being an immature idiot or is he being malicious?

I would go off his track record with you while you were together. If he was abusive to you while you were together, this is a huge red flag. If he's just doing this to get under your skin, (barring any marks from the fighting) I'd stop giving him a reaction.

My dad use to playfully call us names growing up, and we thought it was funny. We weren't damaged from it and still give each other crap when we visit.

Savagebeauty · 21/09/2015 07:42

Only if they were called Gordon

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Yellowpansies · 21/09/2015 07:51

I wouldn't be too fussed about calling then morons if it's not meant viciously.

But I would be very concerned about him encouraging them to fight. That's not OK at all.

longdiling · 21/09/2015 07:54

Yuck, no. That's quite a viscious word to use and I wouldn't want them calling anyone else that.

The fighting and encouraging them to punch each other in the face is horrific - do the kids tell you this themselves? I would be tempted to seek legal advice about stopping contact due to this, it sounds abusive.

ffffffedup · 21/09/2015 08:53

I've called my kids a lot worse but maybe not to their faces

Lurkedforever1 · 21/09/2015 08:58

In our house the word moron is used jokingly for silly stuff, not an insult, and goes back and forth. And toy fighting is fine too, however punching faces isn't toy fighting. You do actually have a right to pull him on that, but the name calling if done in jest is just a different parenting decision which you don't have any right to object to.

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