I feel like a terrible mum. I have DS 4, and DD 11 months, just gone back to work part time. I have been absolutely knackered this week as I am back at work and DD has become really unsettled at night, presumably she is experiencing some anxiety at new childcare arrangements (she will settle with lovely childminder, I am sure, but she has never been away from me). DS I think is probably also struggling. Both have a cold, and when DD has been asleep, DS has kept me awake coughing and spluttering. So, I was at the end of my tether, trying to cram the housework into this morning so that we could have a nice afternoon (today was my day off).
DS finds it very difficult to amuse himself and was following me around whinging saying "Im bored". I started a few games with him and did the whole settle him then wander off, but he is wise to this and followed. DD has just learnt to walk, so I was trying to steer her away from obstacles, whilst doing dishwasher, putting washing on, wiping surfaces...DS still whinging I am booorrrreeed. I snapped. I turned around to poor DS and hissed, from nowhere, well guess what DS? I have been bored for the last four years playing with you, but I've sucked it up and now it's time you did the same. I was mortified with myself. His little face crumpled and I feel so mean and horrible.
To make matters worse we didn't do anything nice this aft, was too knackered to even go to the park. I just put a DVD on, which I don't do very often (not during the day, screen time is usually when I am cooking a meal, so about 4:45) I have given him lots of cuddles and we played a few games altogether before bed, but I still feel awful, like what is the actual point having time off work with them when all I have done is clean the house and snap at them.
Please tell me that this will all work out.