Apologies in advance as this will probably be long!
DD3 has always been a hitter/biter etc. I've done all the things I'm 'supposed' to do, with no signs of improvement. She started nursery in June and things eased a touch, I assume because she was exhausted!
Over the last 2 months issues with her behaviour have escalated massively, and at this point I'm finding it difficult to cope. She attacks DD2 constantly, a few seconds after I leave the room (i.e. to go to the toilet, cook.) DD2 is 5 and is under the paed for autism testing (although I am having problems there because she's apparently fine at school.) DD2 doesn't ask for help or move away without being prompted, and so ends up being hurt a lot. I monitor DD3 as much as I can, but if she's decided she's going to do something it's nigh on impossible to stop her without physically restraining her.
If I attempt to speak to her about her behaviour, she turns her head away, closes her eyes and sings to herself. There's no way to get a response when she does this, it's as if she has shut down. She also runs away when she has hurt someone/broken something etc. and also while out, and doesn't respond to her name being called. Nursery have also noticed this, and said it is as if she is in a bubble and can't hear them. Her hearing has been tested and is fine btw.
When she's not hurting people she is climbing, jumping off things, breaking things, fiddling. If has got to the point where I can't go to the toilet without having to deal with something she's done, and when cooking or doing my other DDs' homework I have to stop and stop DD3 from hurting herself or someone else every few minutes.
It has got to the point in the last few weeks where she refuses any request I make of her. It's almost as if she has to say no, just because I've asked her. I spend most of my time, from the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed, battling with her for one reason or another.
Nursery have also noticed that she is overly possessive of toys, and reacts as if children are going to take them off her if they even walk near her.
If I put her in her room she trashes it, rips clothes out of every drawer, throws her potty. If I put her in her pram she climbs out. Whenever I stop her from doing something she flies at me and starts to attack me. She also falls over much more frequently than I remember my others doing.
I just don't know what to do. A nursery nurse made some visits in April/May and was lovely, but she couldn't suggest any strategies that I wasn't already using. And they have made not a jot of difference, instead it's rapidly worsening. I have left a message for her to call me though, because I can't carry on like this. I am a single mum so there's no one else to pick up the slack.
Any insights would be fab please, I'm wrung out atm.