Baby constantly grizzly feeling hopeless

[ParsleyCake]

My 3 month old just whinges alot at the moment, and I don't know exactly what to do about it. He has been teething for a couple of weeks now. If he's in pain should I be giving him teething powders? Or just try and distract him by playing etc? Have already tried teethers and chewing his blankets, but he prefers his thumb mostly. It's just getting constant and sometimes I feel so washed out.staying at home with a baby so far just doesn't suit me. I love him to bits but I'm bored out my mind and can't go anywhere as he just cries in the pram, or even when we go for a walk with him in my arms at the moment. It's not even that he want to be held, he just whinges and cries on and off through the day and he has to be actively distracted once he starts for him to stop. Sometimes he would rather grizzle away and cry than feed, even though he's hungry.

Beginning to feel hopeless, I'm not used to having nothing to do constantly and I still have 8 month left at home. Even though I say I have 'nothing ' to do of course my hands are full so I can't exactly take up a hobby other than what I alread do which is read or watch tv when he is sleeping and play with him or do chores while he is awake.

Just to add, I can't go back to work as I don't want to put him into childcare and there's no one to watch him. I just long for the days when he's a toddler who can tell me what he wants or play or read books with me, or even visit the play park which is right outside my window. He doesn't even reach for toys yet. I love him so much but I feel like a prisoner sometimes

You could try giving a teething gel with lidocaine in which should help with any teething pain. (Anbesol or similar)????Have you tried activities like swimming, baby massage or a baby sensory/rhyme time type thing? No one will mind if your baby cries at that sort of activity, as there's always at lest one baby crying! I would aim to get out of the house every day if you can, even if he's crying, just for your benefit really. ????Also, you could consider asking your work if you could return earlier, if you want to. Not everyone enjoys the baby stage, and that's also absolutely fine.

Sorry, cross post, just seen your comment about work. ????Have you tried a sling?

I thought about going to baby groups, but they are all so far away – like about half hour walk, and I don't drive. I could take a bus or a taxi but we don't have much money in addition to what you would have to pay for joining the groups.

Mine is grizzling too. It just wears me down. Specially when DD is suddenly all smiles/not crying for EVERYONE ELSE!

Is he still in carry cot bit of pram? My wee toots is so nosey that i find sitting her up helps. Also I just put her in pram and go. Eventually, she'll fall asleep. Headphones on?

I have tried a sling but he doesn't really like being constrained at all, tho I do keep trying it periodically

I don't have any advice on the grizzling/crying but I know where you are coming from on the feeling like a prisoner and being bored. I've been a SAHM for 3 years and it's the most boring thing I've ever done. I love my DC more then anything but the repetitiveness of my days is so dull and I crave adult conversation. DD is now nearly 6 months and it does get easier because she can sit up and play but toddlers come with their own problems too I have a threenager

Is there any baby groups you can go to, maybe he will be distracted from crying then?

It's just a phase, honest. It will pass. I found mine got much less grizzly when she could sit up/move about.
Not sure about looking forward to the toddler phase, my 22 month olds whinging is much more irritating than her baby grizzling was!

X post about the baby groups!

Do you have any friends with similar age babies? Even meeting for a coffee can break up the monotony. ????Maybe you could try one outing a week and see how you get on. It gets better soon, it really does.

is there a reason you can't walk half an hour - physical or mental? Otherwise it really isn't very far.

you do need to get out for some adult company, this isolation really isn't good.

special is right, half an hour walk isn't far. I have to get out and see people at least once a day with mine.

I have a 3 yr old days who is going through the threenagers and it's equally as hard as a crying baby. Yes she can talk but she whines and whinges and throws huge tantrums, talks to me with attitude, defiant, won't do as she's told or just barks at me "Can't you see I'm busy" and throws me big dirty looks so it's not all better once they're a toddler. I also have an 8 month old ds who goes through grizzly patches, whinges, cries etc. I find if he's over tired, going through a wonder week or over hungry it can be really bad.

At 12 weeks there's a ww and a big growth spurt. So perhaps extra hungry, or bewildered by new things happening to him that he doesn't understand or try settling him just before the tired signs with the same nap routine each time so he gets to recognise that it's sleepy time now. So same story or same song or a lovey that's kept just for bedtime, gro bag for naps so he associates this with nap time and make sure he's getting enough rest which should help with some of the grizzlieness. And make sure you get out as much as possible so you both don't feel couped up.

There's a good book by Harvey Karp "the happiest baby on the block" which might help and definitely the wonder weeks book as that helps save your sanity when you haven't got a clue how you're going to get through the crying and whinging!

Does your ds have a dummy?

Is your DS getting enough daytime sleep?

You sound quite down in the dumps. I really recommend going to the baby groups if you can. I don't drive either and often walk 30-40 mins to them. Unless there is a physical reason stopping you from walking, you should do it. The fresh air does wonders, as does getting out and interacting with people. Sometimes I will take a cab there and walk home.

Also try taking your baby to a local park, sitting out on the grass with him. At this stage it's for you, not him. You could bring a picnic for yourself.

Where abouts are you? Are you in the UK? If so, have you looked into your local children's centres. They often do groups that are free or cheap. Also most librarys do a Baby Rhyme Time session, and you could go to the lesiure centre. Look at swimming.

I got stuck in a rut of not leaving the house for a while and I know how rubbish it makes you feel. One other thing, I think I mention this on EVERY THREAD I go on but give Infacol a try on a grizzly baby. It works wonders on my dd!

Mine was the same. It was just the way he was - he needed to be out and walked around CONSTANTLY - I couldn't even just SIT with him on the sofa he would grizzle and cry and cry. He's 2.2 now and still hard work, but he's just a very, very lively energetic little boy. Good luck xx

Thanks so much everyone.

I have to say, I mainly find it intimidating to leave the house with a crying baby when the walk to and from the destination adds up to an hour. In the pram he can scream blue murder the whole way if the mood takes him. At the very least he'll cry intermittently most of the way. I used to walk much further before I had him. Doesn't help he gets distracted from feeding and wont nurse unless in a quiet room alone, though I try to express bottles for outings now.

He doesn't take a dummy anymore, though he used to.

I have arranged to have a friend visit me at home every second day to break the monotony, and so far its worked miracles for my mood, having something to focus on other than baby while OH is away for long work day. I also routinely go out into the garden now with a blanket, and lay with baby and play the way we usually do indoors (with hat and sun lotion dont worry). I fond having a routine helps me break up the day rather than waking up with the gloomy prospect of 12 hours of on-off playing and naps and crying.

You sound very down. Have you spoke to your doctor about your mood?

At 3 months old the answer to most crying is feeding or sleeping. Could you try for more frequent feeds and naps?

Routines are good. I like the EASY routine. At 3 months it would be a 90 minute cycle with one feed, about 40 minutes awake and then about 40 minutes asleep.

E - Eat (full feed)
A - Awake (no more than 60 minutes at this age, closer to 30 mins)
S - Sleep (try to keep baby asleep for at least 30m, leave to wake naturally)
Y - You time (while baby sleeps)

My baby was the same, now nearly 6 months he's better, but we still get the grizzly days. I also hated taking him out as felt that everyone was looking at me when he inevitably started screaming, but they're really not. Mine improved in the pram when I moved to the seat unit rather than the carry cot, I think he liked just looking around. The advice wasn't to switch til 6 months but we went from about 4.5, from that point I've done so many long walks really help both to lift my mood and to keep him occupied. Also walks to the park, take a blanket and let him lie down looking at the sky.

God I feel for you. Being constantly in with a grizzly baby is about the hardest thing ever.

I think the main thing (after making sure feeding/ sleep is right) is for you to get out of house as much as possible. I would also try baby/ breastfeeding groups. You may adore them/ not like them but you won't know until you try.

Set yourself a target of doing it for a week then see how you feel after a week of doing that.

You're doing a very difficult 'job' well and you need to know things do get easier. They really do.

I understand why you might be intimidated about leaving the house with a grizzly baby but I think you should give it a go. You could make a non-commital aim of reaching a baby group. If after say 15 mins walking the crying is getting too much, turn back home if you like.

Better stil, maybe you could go with your friend on a day she is round. Worst comes to worst, you can take turns holding the baby and pushing the empty pram (that's what me and dp used to do when dd was really moany) until you get there.

You've not said anything about naps. From your description, he sounds chronically tired (to me).

I second the advice about the "EASY" routine. 3 month old babies need lots of sleep and shouldn't be going for more than 3 hours (max) without a sleep, IIRC.