Mum's don't get sick days, so what do you do?

[jessebuni]

Ok so normally I'm a firm believer of suck it up and push through it. Colds, sick bugs etc fine it's hard but you get it done right?

For two days I have had migraines so bad that I can't stand and move around without throwing up. The first day they hit I had nosebleeds from it too. Yesterday my husband refused to take a day off work because they are short staffed so I just about went through the motions to having the kids fed (brioches for breakfast was an easy fix) then drove for the school run, pulling over twice to throw up. One of those times was embarrassingly into a drain just outside the school! I was terrified because there was no way I should have been driving when having my eyes open physically hurt. So to my horror today I am just as bad, my iPad screen is literally making me want to hurl right now but I have to know, what do people do?

Once again my husband has ignored the fact I asked him to take a day off and help me. My mother in law doesn't drive so can't get here or do the school run, my mum had a knee operation yesterday so can't drive either and I'm not risking driving in this state again when I can't get more than three feet from bed without clutching my head in agony or throwing up. My son isn't ill, he should be in school, as a parent it's my job to make sure he goes but how do I do that? what do you do when you really are just too sick to act the parent that day but have two kids (mine are 6 and 3) that need looking after and/or taking to school?

Your dh steps up.

Otherwise it sounds like they are missing school. Worse for you though if it means you can't rest.

Can someone give them a lift?

Your husband is out of order I take it he's never had a migraine before? I've only had one in my life and was in tears on the phone to my sister to come and sit with dd so I could lie in a dark room. In your situation I'd keep them off school and propped in front of the TV so you can lay on the sofa or something for a couple of hours. I hope you're better soon

Your husband needs to face up to his responsibilities and take his children to school

Your DH is a problem but one that won't get solved today.

Other parents - who can you ask to take your 6yo? If no one, ring school. Our school have said they will fetch DC if we really can't get them there.
If its dangerous for you to drive, don't, and keep your 6yo off.
Things to sort for the future - your DH's attitude - you are a team. And build up a network of other parents you can swap favours with.

Then just painkillers, sofa, Beebies for 3yo. Hope you feel better soon.

Not going to lie I am livid at him. Yesterday I tried to lock him out the house I was so mad that he'd gone to work at 7am leaving me throwing up and in tears and didn't even call to check on me all day before he got home at 7pm.

The problem is he thinks it's better for my son to miss a day of school than him to miss a day of work and therefore loses us money. He doesn't actually appear to have a clue that me resting at home is not happening when my 3 year old daughter is led in bed next to me kicking me and her brother because they are arguing on what to watch etc.

I guess my son will be missing today from school because I can't risk driving like this, not with my kids in the car. I'm thinking it'll be a day of trying to rest for me and Disney films and takeaway for my kids. I was just curious whether anyone else had come across this sort of situation. It's pretty miserable!

I'd suggest DH staying to drive DC into school (do they have a breakfast club?) and getting into work late (unless he's an airline pilot or something similar where starting late isn't an option). And if you don't have anyone nearby who you can ask to collect DS for you at the end of the day then a taxi for the school run .

You poor thing.

There is a difference between your husband being late and him missing the whole day. It's utterly unacceptable that he didn't take your son to school. Are there any local childminders or nannies you could pay to help you out for a day or two? Teens on your street that could yake kids out for a couple of hours for pocket money?

For now I would pay MiL to get a can to yours and play with the kids downstairs while you recover.

If he really can't take a day off, I think it is down to him to arrange someone to take you son in and drop him back off. You should not be doing that while you are ill. Or he could do the drop and pick up and go back to work and maybe make the time up.

I explained to my husband that when he is too ill to come to work, someone else does his role and that is exactly what happens when his wife is too ill to look after the kids.

Leaving you at home when you are in no state to look after the children is irresponsible of him. Effectively, you could argue that the children are at risk under your care when you are too ill to look after them.

Is this thread real? If my dh behaved this way I would leave the bastard.

Have you had migraines before? If not, you should see a GP to make sure it is in fact a migraine.

Lol yes the thread is real. I've had a migraine before but only for a few hours never for days. I spoke to a go on the phone yesterday and was told if the nosebleeds and vomiting continues then to make an emergency appointment to rule out anything else. Fortunately they stopped at its just the headache from hell now.

One of the other mums from school helpfully volunteered to take my son to school and back which was a lifesaver so I've only had my youngest to worry about.

My husband is an on call tyre fitter for lorries. His hours are 8-6 plus almost always overtime 6 days a week and when he's on call we don't really see him. So I'm used to him not being around and I don't think it ever really occurs to him that just because I'm home either the kids doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. He's not being mean he's just being thoughtless (not a great deal better I will admit) but the husband is an issue for a day when my head doesn't feel like it's imploding on me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better!

I'm the same, although DS would walk to school himself this year and I could probably get the teacher to remind him to come home immediately. He's never walked home by himself so it would upset him. He did have a day off last year, I just called him in ill. TV/iPad and easy food here. For a planned "illness" when I had to go into hospital recently, I organised the op time so that MIL had time to get here before I went in and she stayed for two weeks in a hotel so she could be here early to help with the DC and get DS to school. DH couldn't wouldn't take time off.

Well fortunately me and the mum who kindly took my son this morning both have two children around the same age so I think we are going to have an arrangement to look after one another's children in future when one of us is really ill. Unfortunately our school is a half hour walk so even if my son was in the year of school that they are allowed to walk I think it's too far considering drilling road safety into him is like asking him to do rocket science. But I'm glad that I've now got an arrangement for future! Thanks for your support ladies!