First day at playgroup

[brightreddress]

My DD is nearly 3, and has always been with me except for a few odd days with a nanny and relatives. She's very confident and grown up. I've enrolled her in a community playgroup for 3 hours in the mornings and we went to the first session today. While she liked it and really got into it, she cried very sadly every time I tried to leave for an experimental walk round the block. Not in front of me -- I'd say goodbye and so would she, but as soon as I got out of sight she would totally break down. I only found this out as I left but turned back as I forgot my wallet there, only to find my darling child, who had been happy just a minute before, in really sad floods of tears.

I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'll carry on hanging around until she's really happy there.

I wouldn't hang around if I were you, big cuddle, smiley goodbye "have a lovely time" etc and go.

I agree. Mention the fun things she'll do and the boring jobs you have to do (save her worst eg my son hated the Hoover so I'd vacuum when he was at preschool) then drop her off cheerfully and go promptly, openly and smiling.

At the moment you're confusing her and sneaking off. Nope!

Are you handing her over to someone? Give her to one of staff, get them to try and distract her, say goodbye and go, don't go back unless they phone you. It's hard but usually after ten minutes they're fine.

With my DS they used to pick him off me, and then take him to do an activity or help with something. He's fine now and loves it. It's hard but you have to just go.

If she's crying the whole time then that's different.

My DD1 started Pre-School/Playgroup this week too, she's nearly 3. Today was her first day.

What I've been doing in the run up to her starting is talking to her about pre-school, and how she will do lot's of fun activities and get to play with lot's of children. I also talked a lot about how I will be taking her there, then going home and coming back collect her later, in an attempt to get her to understand how it all worked.

I think by hanging around until she's happy you will give her the expectation that you will be staying for every session and it will make the situation worse when it gets to the point where you do actually have to leave. It's relatively normal for some children to get a little upset when their parents leave them at nursery/playgroup at first, generally they tend to settle shortly after you leave. The way it works at my DD's playgroup is that if a child isn't settling and becomes inconsolable after a parent leaves, then they will call the parent and ask them to come back, is there any way you could ask your child's playgroup to do something like this?