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problems being a full time dad

28 replies

fulltimedad1 · 13/09/2015 09:33

I'm a full time dad to my 18 month old ds and wondered if anyone else had noticed the victorian style ideas society still seems to have to this. Me and wife started out with me working full time and her being the full time parent as I was the higher earner. Unfortunately my wife hit some major walls with post natal depression and the best way we found for her to get better was for her to be back in the work atmosphere and for me to stay home with ds. This works absolutely fantastically for us, wife is a million times happier being surrounded by people all day and loves the reaction she gets from ds when she gets I'm from works and I love all the quality time and interaction I able to have with ds that most father's miss out on. The problem I find is with people outside of our little bubble. People will ask "what do you do for work" to which I would reply " I'm a full time parent" the reaction is then usually a look down the nose and a off the cuff comment of oh so you don't work. When a woman says she doesn't work as she is a full time mum this seems to be generally so much more accepted. When we go to play groups I find we aren't engaged very much at all by other mums. It's very difficult to set up play dates as most husbands don't want a strange man at home spending time with his wife. Even family members have been less than supportive. I don't know why in the 21st century we are still living by these vitorian standards. Anyone else had any experience of this

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Woolyheads · 20/09/2015 16:37

If I was a stay at home mum I'd much rather have mixed company than just women. So you'd be very welcome as a play date. I also have a male colleague who would love to be a SAHD, which is far from thinking it odd.
You may just be encountering envy.

holmessweetholmes · 20/09/2015 17:04

It's totally unfair, old-fashioned and nasty that sahds are treated this way. And, I'm sorry to say, whenever a post like this appears on MN it seems always to be greeted with scepticism or choruses of 'Oh I'm sure it's not because you're a man' or assuming he's putting people's backs up in some way. I find it very believable that sahds get more flak than sahms because it's more unusual. That doesn't mean it's ok to treat them that way though.

SingleDaddy2 · 20/09/2015 18:36

I was a full time house husband with apparent full support from my wife. She and her parents though decided it was best for her to divorce me. She conceived our youngest child just so that she would 'win' our first in court. Thankfully that's not yet happened.
Many people make you believe they support you, just because they'd rather not be honest. They'd rather manipulate their way into power, at and, and all costs.

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