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Original poster

How did you honestly feel

23 replies

Penguin13 · 10/09/2015 14:27

If your baby was one of the last in their age group to hit their milestones? Just wondering as I know everyone says 'they a develop at their own pace' but am I really the only one who is crap and worries about it?

I know comparison is useless and all that jazz but I find the people saying 'oh enjoy it' are the ones who follow it up with a stealth boast like 'because my DC was walking at 3 weeks and it was a total niiiiightmare' may be exaggerating slightly

I don't know how to stop worrying that somehow I have put my DD at a disadvantage by not doing the right things with her and causing her to be the last in her group to crawl. She is 9 months and has only been commando crawling for about 2.5 weeks and not showing any sign of wanting to stand etc. I know, I do logically KNOW that it is pointless to compare I just wondered if anyone was with me in secretly wishing their DC wasn't the last one to do everything.

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cadidog · 10/09/2015 14:34

Mine was the last to walk in his little group of friends (I think he was the last to crawl too) and I couldn't give a tin shit really. It's not like he was so slow to learn I was getting worried, he was just taking his time. It's not like you can force them to walk earlier.

In 5 years time will you really remember the ages your friends kids started to crawl or walk? I doubt it.

Original poster

Penguin13 · 10/09/2015 14:50

You make a good point Cadi . It's all the more infuriating because I do know i am being ridiculous really

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Writerwannabe83 · 10/09/2015 14:51

My friends little boy sounds exactly like your daughter, he didn't actually properly crawl until he was about 11 months and he didn't walk until almost 15 months.

Has he had his development check with the HV yet? I only ask because when my friend had her son's check and the HV knew he was only commando crawling and not trying to stand etc she referred him to physiotherapy just in case there were any problems with the muscle strength in his legs which was preventing him from progressing.

My friends little boy was fine though, just a slow starter but when he finally got on his feet he took off like a rocket and it was like he'd been walking since birth

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BrockAuLit · 10/09/2015 14:58

My DD didn't crawl until she was 14 months. It lasted two weeks and she got up and walked.

You should see her now.

Honestly, I did worry a bit, to the extent I took her to a doctor and they prescribed a year's worth of physio. Didn't make a blind bit of difference, think they gave in as I was so worried. But now you can't tell her apart from the other kids.

Seriously, it's normal to worry (that's all you ever do sometimes!) but it all sounds fine to me.

Original poster

Penguin13 · 10/09/2015 18:17

Thanks all. Writer we haven't had the check yet as she is actually turning 9 months in 2 days. I do have that in the back of my mind as well. My gut instinct says she's fine just taking her time but I'm a born worrier. She is on the 91st for weight and I read that bigger babies can take longer to crawl etc as they have more weight to support so maybe that's it.

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Writerwannabe83 · 10/09/2015 18:37

My friend's son was HUGE so you at be on to something there. He was only 3 weeks older than my DS but it looked more like a 6 month gap

Addictedtocustardcreams · 10/09/2015 19:41

I know I did have a little bit of worry inside me when my DD was last in my little crew of mums/babies to walk. My rational mind told me it was fine & she would do it in her own time but a tiny bit of me still worried. Then when she did walk she did it really well straight away, the length of our kitchen the first time she walked. We decided she was just a perfectionist! Maybe yours is too!

Minesril · 10/09/2015 19:47

Mine is 14 months and can't walk yet, didn't crawl until he was ten months. But he can stack several blocks which he isn't supposed to do yet I don't think! Can also zoom up the stairs. Different babies do different things at different times. I'm sure they all get there in the end!

KatyN · 10/09/2015 19:50

I used to worry all the time. My son had complications at birth and saw a physio for 2 years. He missed all his physical milestones. I remember at his first birthday party for our antenatal friends some were walking and mine had just started crawling.

To be totally honest I used to cry about it a fair bit too! I got a lot if reassurance from friends and professionals but it still hurt.

The only silver lining for me was that my son started talking really early which was amazing and seemed so much easier than walking!

Come 2.5 they will all have caught up with each other and you'll have new things to worry about.. But I totally feel your pain now!
Kxx

LillyBugg · 10/09/2015 19:50

I have a 91st weight and height baby that commando crawled around ten months and didn't properly crawl until eleven months if that reassures you?

Original poster

Penguin13 · 10/09/2015 22:18

Thanks for not making me feel like an idiot guys. I have such a smiley gorgeous girl I don't know how I could be wishing this time away when I should be enjoying her for the happy laid back soul she is. Feeling the MN love today

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AlpacaLypse · 10/09/2015 22:24

Round here they are red, don't know about the rest of the country. But those little booklet thingies that the HVs etc hand out with all those developmental milestones and percentage charts and so on are the source of more sleepless nights than even the most stroppy baby!

Your daughter sounds gorgeous. Stop panicking.

WinterForest · 12/09/2015 17:21

My son commando crawled at 9 months and couldn't sit on his own yet or stand. My home nurse freaked out at me. She was like "oh but he needs to sit! He needs to crawl!" this made me feel miserable for the next few weeks. I felt like a failure. I felt like all my hard work wasn't good enough.

So I started doing what she told me to do, even though I was upset. She told me to sit him up and kind of let his arms rest on the floor in front of him in a slump. I did this everyday with no improvements. Then magically one day he tried doing this himself (maybe 3 weeks later). This made me so happy. I then kept lifting him into a standing position and holding his arms first, then his hands, he'd slump a lot...then the next week he stood up by himself.

I'm not sure if it's because I showed him how to do it, or if he just suddenly became ready, but maybe try these things with your baby. Only recently he finally can crawl and he's 10 months now. Now I'm stressing over him walking xD it never ends. Just hang in there, she will do this when she is ready. Maybe show her once per day. :)

WinterForest · 12/09/2015 17:24

Forget to mention, your baby seems right on schedule if she's not even 9 months yet. My son couldn't crawl, sit, stand or anything at 9 months. Then one week he just started doing all this stuff. A few weeks can make a huge change.

CocktailQueen · 12/09/2015 17:25

My DS commando crawled at about 9 months but didn't sit unaided till 11 months!! He never crawled properly but got up and walked at 12 months.

They do indeed all do things at their own speed and they will all get there. I know it can be hard not to worry, but honestly, try not to!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 12/09/2015 17:31

OP just crawling at 9 months is perfectly normal! Mine sat up at 6 months, crawled at 8.5 months and walked at 13 months and she was the second of our 7 NCT babies to do all these things.

lanbro · 12/09/2015 17:35

9 mo is definitely not behind for crawling, my eldest was about 10 mo for crawling and 15 mo for walking. Youngest was about the same for crawling but walked at 12 mo. They're both geniuses now!

thatstoast · 12/09/2015 17:37

It's really hard. DS started crawling at 8 months so all OK. He didn't walk until 15m and has very few words now at 19m. The health visitor is happy that he's in the normal range but it's hard when all other children you know were walking at 1 and chatting away at 18m.

ragged · 12/09/2015 17:38

DS was always the first & it was pretty obvious the other mummies pitied me.

mewkins · 12/09/2015 17:39

I have an older dd who was running before she was a year!!!! I must be an ace parent!!!! ....except ds is now 14.5 months and only started dragging himself along just before his first birthday. He really has only learnt to pull himself up in the last three weeks and it will be a while before he walks. Honestly, it is no reflection on your parenying and actually ds is less troublesome because dd was a young walker she destroyed the house and had no sense even though she was quick!

ImperialBlether · 12/09/2015 17:39

I would say worry when a doctor tells you to worry. Don't worry because another child is doing something she is doing.

I actually think the parents of those who do things really quickly miss out on that lovely baby stage.

Original poster

Penguin13 · 13/09/2015 08:04

Thank you for taking the time to reply everyone. I have had a stern word with myself and am going to try hard to just enjoy each stage as it comes and stop worrying. We start work with a sleep consultant on Monday so maybe once I have had more than 3.5 consecutive hours sleep I will find it easier to have some perspective!

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nutmegandginger · 13/09/2015 19:28

I don't think not crawling at 9 months is any cause for concern. My dd is 10 months and miles off crawling (she will push forward, collapse onto her tummy, do a faceplant and then lie there crying). Of our nct group, less than half the babies are crawling by now.

I definitely agree with the point about size that was made earlier. DD is huge (93rd centile) and I can see when she tries to go on all fours or pull herself up that her arms are just not strong enough to take her body weight and that deters her from keeping at it.

I also think a lot has to do with personality. My DD is definitely an observer type. She's very happy if she can sit and watch people, and content to play with the toy within reach and focus on that for quite a long time. So she is motivated to work on developmental things to do with communication (eg babbling) rather than ones to do with moving around. Other babies I know are much more active and explorer type personalities, and are keen to get to whatever's out of reach, and so they are motivated to learn to move around. I think they end up prioritizing in their brains as they can't do everything at once. So if your DD is a bit slower to crawl, maybe she's thinking about something else, that might be less visible for you to notice.

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