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Parenting

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Original poster

Annoyed that DS mucked up his presentation

16 replies

rookiemere · 07/09/2015 17:23

I need to vent here because I can't do it too much in real life.

DS is 9, at his school they are very keen on stand in front of the class presentations. The most recent two, the first one he didn't prepare for so it didn't go well and the second one I think went marginally better, but was still pulled up at parents evening as he doesn't like speaking in front of the class.

This time they had to give a talk about something. I made him practice it every night last week. He had written out his talk - I'd suggested he did bullet points, but no he wanted to write it out, so at least I thought he'd be word perfect. He managed to lose the card so did it without and says it was too short and didn't go well.

I know it's totally trivial in the scheme of things, but I am rather annoyed about it.
I said I was disappointed that he lost his card, but that's all I have said to him.

I also feel somewhat aggrieved about the homework. I'm really happy to support the school in reinforcing learning through spelling, maths etc. but these flipping presentations take up so much headspace and time and seem to be all they talk about on parents evening. DS is naturally reticent and I can see the value in them doing such a thing, but it just seems to be far too often and on top of other homework.

How much support should I be giving him? Should I just let it be his own efforts entirely - I tried letting him fail on the first one, but he didn't seem to learn any lesson from it.

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Pneumometer · 07/09/2015 17:36

I made him practice it every night last week

He's 9, FFS.

Original poster

rookiemere · 07/09/2015 17:38

Yes I know, it is ridiculous. What should I do - leave him to it and get a row at parents evening?

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fastdaytears · 07/09/2015 17:39

That is a weird thing for the school to focus on. I know you can improve public speaking but there's still going to be a huge gap between the kids who find it naturally easy and those that hate it.

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SirChenjin · 07/09/2015 17:41

I hate hate hate this obsession that schools have with making pupils give presentations without equipping them with really good skills and techniques. FGS, they are young kids, so by all means have them stand up and say a few words on a specific topic - as someone who hates public speaking (but whose job involves loads of presentations) I would say back off and don't pile on the pressure by making him practice every night.

SirChenjin · 07/09/2015 17:42

Sorry, hit return too soon there. What I meant to say is, focus on improving his technique and helping him relax rather than simply making him live the fear over and over again! YouTube have some fab videos on presentation skills for kids - worth a look?

Scarydinosaurs · 07/09/2015 17:43

It would probably be better and more natural without a card. I bet the practice really paid off. Hopefully his teacher was impressed and he will get positive feedback.

PigletJohn · 07/09/2015 17:43

there are grown adults who are terrified of speaking in public. There are other adults who are not terrified but are no good at it.

Adults often benefit from a full-time one week training course to include exercises, technique and practice. What has the school taught him?

wankerchief · 07/09/2015 17:45

Hes 9, step back!

The school want to see his work not yours.

Topseyt · 07/09/2015 17:47

Back off. Let him be himself.

I wouldn't mind this sort of thing on a very occasional basis, but that sounds like far too often.

Tell the school to back off too. You can't make someone into something they are not, adult or child. If he isn't a natural public speaker, he isn't. This could destroy confidence, not build it. It would have with me.

Original poster

rookiemere · 07/09/2015 17:50

Thanks for additional responses.

I don't think DS is frightened of doing it particularly. He doesn't enjoy it, but it doesn't make him quake with fear or burst into tears. Getting him to repeat it was I thought helpful, but perhaps I shouldn't have? I'll definitely look up the technique stuff - i tried to give him a few hints about making it more interesting for the audience, but he doesn't want to listen.

It's interesting what people are saying around the giving them the tools to do it well - I don't think they've had a lot to be fair.

I also hate the bit at parents evening where the fact that my DS is a little hesitant at putting his hand up and isn't one of the ones pushing himself to the front is marked as a Developing Point on his scorecard or whatever they call it.

At the last parents evening I got the teacher to concede that not all DCs, like not all adults, are eager to put their views forward and it's not a defect, but a facet of his personality.

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Pneumometer · 07/09/2015 18:20

leave him to it and get a row at parents evening?

If that's the choice, yes. If the school has a row with you for not doing your child's homework for them (AT NINE) then let them. Laugh in their face.

Mistigri · 07/09/2015 18:35

I wouldn't get into a row about it, but I would ask what the school are doing to teach the children presentation skills.

A small minority of people have natural public speaking skills, but most need explicit teaching to be good at it. If the school thinks presentations are important they need to equip the children with the necessary skills. This is NOT your job.

NellysKnickers · 07/09/2015 18:43

Take a step back and let him get on with it, maybe there was too much pressure?. It's easy to get too involved.

mummytime · 07/09/2015 19:13

DH and I taught our children to give presentations without notes - as thats how we do them professionally.
If I got told off for my DCs poor performance in this area at parents evening I would turn it back to the teacher to ask how they were teaching them presentation skills? Its their role to teach, not just set tasks to be taught at home.
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BabyGanoush · 07/09/2015 19:22

Good point

Ask the school what THEY are doing to help him get better.

Also, when you help children this age, I think parental input works best if it is done "minimally".

So if my 10 yr old does some kind of project, I make sure he does it but don't get too involved in the content. Or how it is presented.

With my older son I got too involved, gave too much advice and it made him cry once and he said:"I know this is exactly what the teacher wants, and I'll get a good grade, but this is not MY project any more". I felt very foolish, I can tell you!

So back off a bit, and ask the school to help/guide him.

Original poster

rookiemere · 07/09/2015 19:53

Some more great points, and I love the idea of asking the school what they're doing to assist with presentation schools
.
I'm more than happy to back off, believe me, it's just from last terms parents evening I got the impression that it was meant to be my role to coach him into a good performance.

So I'll go in with an open mind, but put it back on them.

Thank you .

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