Dummy or not?

[Racheyg]

Hello mumsnet
I need some advice.
Ds2 is a very clingy needs to be fed/rocked to sleep. Last night he would feed to sleep but then as soon as I put him down he would wake up crying uncontrollably so I fed him again till he fell asleep this carried on all night until 4 when I let him sleep with us. I was totally exhausted by this point.

My oh thinks I should try and give ds2 a dummy after his feeds. I have reluctantly just brought 2 but I'm nervous it's the start of a slippery slope as ds1 still has his at 25 months, and loves his dummy I don't want to start something that could be more trouble than it's worth.

Ds2 is 14 weeks and breast feed on demand except 1x bottle of formula as last feed.

Thanks x

You can always take away the dummy before they are 1. There will be a couple days of crying but after that they'll forget about it. Or you might get lucky and he will give it up himself. I would try anything to get some sleep. Good luck!

I would try cosleeping safely as that seems to work. It was the only way anyone could get any sleep with DS, and we coslept from birth. He now mostly sleeps the whole night in his own bed at 15mo so defo didn't make a rod for my back or anything else silly like that. It's obviously up to you though as its not for everyone. He also had a dummy from 4weeks and was ebf. He does love his dummy now but I'm happy as it still helps him sleep. Anything for sleep.

I agree with ODog, went through a phase with EBF DD who wanted to be held all the time/fed to sleep. Didn't take to the moses basket, so looked in to safe co-sleeping and haven't looked back since.

This guideline from La Leche League might help you decide if it's the right decision for you.

Dummies are not evil at all I'll never understand why people are against them. He's a tiny baby if a dummy helps him to settle and give you a bit of peace then why not? It's not to have a long term effect on teeth that he doesn't even have yet!! A dummy is fairly easily taken away when they are older. If it helps your baby for the love of god give it too him

I'd definitely try the dummy. They are great sleep aides (in that they aren't you!), give comfort, are cheap, easily replaced (unlike a special teddy) and can be controlled/removed by you (unlike a thumb). I've never heard of bf being damaged by dummies irl. I personally think that, in terms of slippery slopes I'd rather be on the dummy slope than the co sleeping slope but I suppose that's up to you!

Thanks all,
I have read about co sleeping but I am unsure whether its right for us. tonight oh has just put ds2 cot up as he got too long for his moses basket. if he is still really unsettled maybe we could go down the co sleeping route.

i dont think dummies are evil, i am just struggling weaning ds1 off his and him seeing his baby brother with a dummy might make it harder?

He is having a huge feed at the moment and dummies are in the sterilizer lets hope i get some sleep x

We were worried about our ds (21 months) pinching our new dd's dummy but for some reason he never goes for hers - and this is a child who loves dummies so much he'll try and nick other kids in the park! I suppose it might make weaning your older ds off the dummy harder but if you're not getting any sleep and the dummy works it might be worth it.

ok, so ds2 doesnt like the dummy. it stays in for a second then spits it out. my hv told me off for feeding to sleep yesterday when i got him weighed so i tried to feed him, wind him, then straight in the cot..........well that went down a treat :) i even tried putting a muslin with bm all over it in his cot as recommended by hv but that didnt work either.

he woke three times last night, so in the end bf him and let him sleep in our bed. maybe i just have to roll with it?

Feed your baby to sleep if that's what he wants. Google the fourth trimester. He barely knows he is not part of you. He won't be doing it forever. It makes me so cross that HVs spout crap like that. Do what you and your baby need!

Hi Rachey, my DS is refusing a dummy too. He is 7 wks and will only feed to sleep and wakes as soon as i put him down in the day. I have persisted with the basket (i kept trying him and also put him in for some awake time while i get ready in the morning) he now sleeps in the basket from our bedtime 10/11 til about 3/4 when he comes onto our bed and feeds/sleeps. I will keep tryingbthe dummy too as think it will help DH settle him. He always wants feeding for comfort, not just food, and hope to transfer it to the dummy. I preferred not to use one but that was before i had him......

Notta our ds's sound similar. Ds' sleep has got worse waking 3 times a night.............I honestly thought a bottle of fm as his last feed at 23.00 would "fill him up" I guess ds2 will work out his our routine soon enough x

Didvthe formula not help at all then rachey? So much for ff making babies sleepy and sleep longer!

I am on threesome second night feed since bedtime feed at 10pm.

I could cheerfullybmurder 'D'H in his sleep.

i started to give it to him as he dropped lots of weight and hv and midwifes were worried so we introduced it when he was 3 weeks old. at 6 weeks he started to sleep 23.30 - 5.00 but since 13 weeks he has been waking up 2/3 times a night. i guess i was spoilt for them few weeks. :)

yes my oh lays there snoring while i feed...........

i think its luck of the draw what babies sleep whether they are fm or bm. last night ds2 only had 3oz of fm then slept till 2.45 bf him till 3.15, slept with us till 4.45 bf him till 5.00 then slept in cot till 6.15.

Wow check out my typos! I was TIRED! And not having a threesome....

I did lol at threesome. To be honest I've read this thinking it just sounds normal- I wouldn't give a dummy I'd just feed to sleep

Notta, ha I didn't even notice the typos
Lol at the "threesome"