Suitable consequence needed for 3.5 year old who has started messing around with food and drink

[Mrscog]

So DS is now 3.5 and over the summer holidays has started some really gross habits/experimentation with food and drink. Yesterday I came in to find him using his ice lolly like a paint roller on the table (I'd been up to get DS2 who's 4 months from his nap). He likes spitting one drink out from one cup to another and we've suddenly had a massive occurence of 'spilt' drinks.

When I'm there I obviously tell him to stop it and he does, but it's the occasions when my back is turned he just makes such a mess. The obvious consequence is that he has to clean it up with me, which is fine but he actively enjoys that bit too so it's not really a discouragement from doing it again. I can stop unsupervised ice lollies, but I can't watch him every minute he's at the table, I rely on his mealtimes to get 10 mins to do other jobs, change DS2 etc.

I think your last sentence may hold the key. So he sits and eats alone while you disappear? He is bored and playing with food for entertainment.

I know it isn't always possible, but eating meals together solves much of the messing around.

With spilt drinks, I would be very laid back and say that if a drink is spilt then unfortunately we can only have water for the rest of the day. So each day he gets a fresh chance. If the drink is spilt, then water.

Also get something out that he CAN play with, so playdough on a large plastic sheet. Leave him doing that while you do nappy change etc.

Thanks steppemum I think you're right - it's probably a bad habit I've got into over the holidays (DS1 normally does 4 days a week at pre-school) as I've found it hard juggling both of them, I used to always eat lunch with DS1 when we were at home.

Thankfully pre-school is back on next week, so I will just try to put a big effort in the next two days and then get back on track with life!

And yes, I feel a total wimp not being able to handle 2 children properly, I really have no idea how people do it!

agree that family meals and modelling good manners really helps
mine get a warning, and then asked to leave the table if they're dicking about - they can come back as soon as they're ready to stop being daft
this only works for kids who enjoy their food though

make sure he's got lots of opportunity for messy sensory play as well (ideally in the garden or the bath)

toddler and baby are hard.

It gets better!

mine are all long past the toddler stage and meals can be quite civilized on a good day

Sorry have to agree about not leaving them eating alone, but it is a challenge with a baby. This will get easier / harder soon when you start feeding the baby at mealtimes too. The mess the toddler is making may be the least of your problems. Keep your sense of humour and it will all be fine.

My just turned 4 gets told to leave the table and come back when she is ready to behave. Only works if me and the rest of the family are at the table.

May not work, but if he's that interested, could you try some messy play during the day? Maybe he likes the experience of getting his hands gooey?

I make everyone sit at the table together for meals. If the DCs are eating before us, we sit with them while they eat. It helps settle them down. When DS2 was born he had a high chair that fully reclined so he spent meal times sat with us from a very young age.

I also removed food/drink if it got messed about with or thrown, even when they were small. DS1 had a phase at about 3 of dicking about at mealtimes, I got crosser and crosser each day for a few weeks, then one day DH stood up, walked away from the table with his plate and chucked everything in the bin. It only happened the once and DS1 was so shocked I can't remember it ever happening again.

I chuckled reading your post, about using his ice lolly as a paint roller. So does my son sometimes, he's the same age too. Also spits his drink out into something else, mainly them Kelloggs bowls with the straw on!

If he does it, he gets warned. If he does it again, I stop giving him juice or ice lollies. If he carries on, he gets put on the step.

I find that if I sit with him at mealtimes he's more likely to sit and eat, especially when I don't pester him to 'eat it now'. It's probably a bit boring to him to sit alone eating.