Help! 4 yr old dd is wetting and pooing pants, I'm desparate!

[Redwood]

My dd is 4 in a few weeks and has been wetting and a little pooing her pants for about 3 months now after being prety good. I'm deparate for advice, I'm starting to get a bit upset. DH is no help as just wants to tell her off...no idea how to stop this.

this worked for my 3 year old charge:

this is what we did when my 3 year old turned 3 (from being 2, having been trained since 22 months)

If watching TV (they have sky+) the TV was always paused for her to go to loo. If she had an accident she missed the programme

then as well as all the praise etc for going to the loo...

If she had an accident the following happened:

She IMMEDIATELY had to walk herself into the toilet (no 1 more play, just doing this etc) in the toilet she had to remove her clothes HERSELF...

then she had to sit on the loo and try to do some 'more'

then she had to carry her clothes HERSELF and put them in the laundry basket...

then she had to go into her room and put on the clothes that I chose for her (she LOVES choosing her outfits / clothes etc and having pink pants and charachter pants etc) so she did NOT choose her clothes

(I chose for her the plainest most boring of knickers (ideally plain white) and appropriate clothes that were NOT her favourites.

She then had to put these clothes on HERSELF (she had help with really tricky bits, but otehr wise had to do it her self (+ quite slow and boring when u are 3 ) She then had to go back into the toilet and wash her hands....

then life continued as normal...

basically by wetting herself she still had to have the 'trouble' of going to the loo, and washing her hands etc.... but she also missed out on any fun for several minutes while she undressed and dressed her self etc.

Within less than a week she had stopped having accidents!

Good Luck

(also while she was changing etc converstaion was just minmul, ie take off your trousers, put them in the wash bin, heres some more socks for YOU to put on YOURSELF etc... none of "oh isnt it raining hard at the moment lol")

aldo have you takenn to Dr to check for infection? thats important too, and we went to Drs tio ruie out infection beferoe we stared the above stratagy

NannyL, thanks for the support, we do some of this but she gets the knickers and whatever clothes she can reach which are not favourites. however she seems ok with all this....am now trying incentives for dry days, starting today so we will see. I'm talking to the Health Visitor tomorrow as I'm having my younger ds weighed etc, so will see what she suggests.thanks

Dear REdwood
My son (3 yrs 10 days ago) has suddenly almost completely regressed: How have you been getting on with NannyL's advice?
Not sure what to do: have tried showing disappoinment/annoyance/ignoring etc, and nothing seemed to work except a slight improvement yesterday following a chat about big boys not wetting pants, only babies, but seem to have gone backwards again today.....
Can't 'make' him sit on the loo, he's too strong!, and have also been having trouble getting him dressed in the morning recently, another new problem.
Would be onterested to know if you've had any success.....

How did you get on with your 4 yr old after seeing the health visitor? I am having the same problem with 3 yr old but she actually sits on the toilet no prob. Just doesnt tell us when she needs a wee or anything. She DOES tell us when we are outside but not when in the house?!

Could she have an infection? Mine gets them a lot so that could be some of her prob.

Well, we went to Dr to give wee sample and are waiting for results. Also seeing HV today so will see what she says. Have seen slight improvement as she got through all day at nursery with no accidents yesterday but had one when she got home. NannyL has good advice but dd seems to have no warning or control. We have tried angry daddy/ incentives/ignoring but nothing works which makes me think she hs no idea herself! She couldn't even last 45 mins last week from wee in toilet to having an accident. Washing is sometimes 4/5 sets of clothes a day! Will let you kow what HV says.

i was directed to this thread and am having trouble with my nearly 5 year old wetting herself at school ( twice today).She wets sometimes at weekends too. If we are out and about she asks to go to the toilet. She still wears a nappie at night ( her nappy is never dry in the morning. Have you all cracked it now? Does anyone else have any advise ?

Have you ruled out infections? Once I get an infection alert about month after the sample as it was a v slow to grow culture. So they may clear the quick dip type tests and not the more thorough ones.

Talk to your GP or health visitor, they should be able to refer you to the Paediatric continence service in your area.