Sleep locations and/or putting the baby down - FTM has questions!

[Starspread]

I've heard lots of confusing opinions on this so I thought I'd throw it open to Mumsnet and get a definite and unified answer (ho ho ho!).

We've got a cosleeping crib for our upcoming new baby, but I'm trying to figure out what else we need (if anything). My mum's expressed serious concern that a cosleeping cot is only ever useful as long as I'm literally right there, even from birth, and we need a second actual full-size cot for all the rest of the time. DP and I are also planning to do quite a bit (not constant!) of baby wearing and letting the baby sleep while we carry it with us, and we know someone who's giving us a Moses basket... Are we being totally naive in thinking that the options of Moses basket/sling/bouncy chair/cosleeping cot (for non-rolling tiny baby) are enough?

That's absolutely fine for non rolling tiny baby, but they don't stay tiny and non rolling for long you know - by 6 months max you'll be out of the Moses basket etc.

6 months is fine; by then they'll also be too big and mobile for the cosleeper so we'd anticipated needing a proper cot by then anyway. (Sort of privately assuming that 4-6 months is mostly dedicated to 'holy shit we made a human' and interim/figuring-shit-out measures... Obviously by 6 months in we'll have this whole parenting lark absolutely nailed. Ha ha ha)

So that's reassuring, thank you Jelly!

DS never slept in our moses basket, it was a waste of time for us! We took the drop side off the cot and cable tied the cot to our bed with a rolled up sofa throw to fill the gap between his mattress and ours. He slept like that until he could crawl (we are lazy and didnt want to get out of bed in the night if he woke!). We have a video monitor so naps werent an issue, as soon as we saw he had woken we could be upstairs before he had rolled anywhere BUT we did keep him napping downstairs with us until 6 months.

DS didnt bloody sleep without being in someones arms for months by the way, I spent many a night propped up with pillows in the spare room with him out of desperation!

My experience (and solution) matches polkadotdeligh almost exactly. Even down to the cable ties on cot.

We put him into his cot after being fed to sleep each time but he'd never fall asleep that way.

Baby slept in an ergo carrier on me during the day or in a bouncer when he was a little older.

Mine slept in a Sleepyhead in a sidecar cot at night, and on my lap/in a sling during the day until she was 4 months old. She wouldn't even sleep in the Sleepyhead in another location in the house. At that point I started putting her down for naps in another room (small flat, with the door open I could see her from the sofa), but she'd only actually sleep in our bed. So that's where she went. I blocked the sides with cushions (against all safety advice), and just kept my ears open. At 4 months she stopped sleeping in the Sleepyhead, and just shared a double bed with me (boyfriend in next door). At 6 months she moved into her own room, but was back and forth in with me for a little while. At 8 months we cracked and bought the next size Sleepyhead, and she's been in her own cot for naps and sleeping at night ever since. Every so often she gets dragged in with us after 5am if she's yelping or whatever.

She managed 20 minutes in the moses basket we'd borrowed. It recently went to a charity shop almost unused by us.

I should add that mine was/still is a totally crap sleeper, and the 4 month sleep regression hit hard.

Yay! Your comments are all very reassuring (yes, I did also read the bits about 'four month sleep regression' and 'didn't sleep without being in someone's arms'...) - this actually chimes with exactly what I've gleaned from talking to friends and doing my own reading, so I was surprised and a bit jolted by my own mum's confidence that this just wouldn't work and we needed something else entirely. She still seems a bit uncomfortable with/confused by cosleeping cots, as they evidently weren't A Thing in the 80s, so I think that's where this is coming from.

In addition, DP and I are sitting quite comfortably in 'only buy baby stuff once we know we need it, rather than stockpile just in case', so the idea of buying a second cot just for the daytimes seemed mad.

My ds sleeps in his pram during the day for naps he's 6mo now and I plan to use this for as long as possible

Also not all children go through a 4m sleep regression none of my 3 did - I'd never heard of it til I came on mn - so don't assume your baby will or won't

I had a snuzpod for DS and I did daytime naps in the pram too for both of mine. I'm due again in January and I will do the same for this baby.

I have a snuzpod and baby really only sleeps there if we are in the house, after being fed to sleep. Either that or sleeps in the sling (or occasionally pram but you have to be walking at a fair clip). I would recommend getting the cot sorted now for when your baby grows out of the snuzpod so it's just another thing sorted. Days just fly past once the baby is here.

You'll need a full sized cot anyway, so it is not like it is buying something needless. In my view cribs are the needless thing. Full sized co-sleeping cot from birth is cheapest option really.

I would recommend buying a drop-side cot when you do buy a cot. This gives you several stages of cot:

• From Birth- Drop side taken off leaving 3-sided cot butted up to your bed - plenty of room for you to lean into the cot to settle baby
• When rolling (4 months ish) - Drop side back on, but side permanently lowered. Makes a small barrier to separate cot and bed, but low enough to easily lean over to settle baby.
• When standing (6 months ish) - Drop base to lowest setting but if still side-carring the cot then the lowered drop side makes leaning into the cot from your bed easier on your arms.

Some babies don't like the restrictive size of cribs/baskets. If you have a baby who likes to sleep crucifix style (like 2 of mine) you are likely to not get more than 4-6 weeks out of a crib because of the restrictive space. If you add a big baby to the mix, the crib may get less use. Either way you'll need a cot anyway.

Oh and btw, DS was out of the snuzpod at 4months due to being a long baby, so after that, like PPs we just put a full-size cot beside the bed for a few months until he went into his own room at 7mo.

I'd have done the full size cot attached to the side had I had space in my room. We bought a £35 crib and I hacksawed a side off it to butt it against my bed. She'd still fit in it now if it had 4 sides...

We use a cosleeper cot for our 4mo and it's great, although he only started reliably sleeping in it at night about a month ago. Before then he either wanted to be on one of us or in my bed with me. We're just going to buy a full size cot when he needs it.

Naps during the day: I bought a stretchy wrap first which he hated, so might be worth hiring before you buy with a sling to see what your baby likes. There are online sling hires, or physical sling libraries you can go to try some out. We now have a connecta which DS loves and will sleep in during the day. Other than that he loves napping in his pram and in my bed. Doesn't sleep in his cot during the day!

So long-winded answer, but yes, I'd say your plan of using your cosleeper and buying extra bits if you need them when you have the baby is a good one. You don't need an extra cot.

Hacked an IKEA cot so side off and tied to bed. On furniture raisers from Argos to make level with our bed. Far side of mattress stuffed with redundant cot bumpers. Slept in there until 4mths sleep regression then came into our king size bed. Still in here at 10 months and no plans to move out. You might find you never need a full sized cot!

And BTW despite my sister saying a Moses basket was a must have item my LG has been in it for about 30 secs on 2 occasions- never took to it!

Your wait-and-see attitude sounds v sensible :) too many people act as if having a baby is like Christmas and all the shops will be shut! You can easily borrow or buy stuff you need once you've gauged your baby's needs. So long as they have nappies, clothes, somewhere to sleep and some form of milk, they'll be fine to start with.

My experience was that DC1 napped in his cot for magical 3-hour stretches. DC2 will only drop off in the sling and does max of an hour. They're all different.

too many people act as if having a baby is like Christmas and all the shops will be shut

Haha, that's a good comment. So true. Someone can be sent to Mothercare or Argos for everything you might 'need' - we had to go shopping for clothes for her at 2 days old, everything was too big.

Mine slept in a carrycot (from the pram) in the day.

FATEdestiny's description completely matches what we have done. Dad is now 7 months and we are putting the cot side up fully as she might be able to pull herself out with it lowered.

I agree with not buying stuff unnecessarily but you are bound to need a standard cot at some point. Most babies grow out of Moses baskets etc way before 6 months or even 4 months. If you want value for money get a cot bed to see them through toddler hood (And then be frustrated that your second child needs it before they have grown out of it!). Also bear in mind that co sleeping and baby wearing doesn't suit everyone. I thought it sounded lovely but did not find the reality very restful.