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Original poster

How to wean from comfort blanket - ds age 3

48 replies

sharond101 · 20/08/2015 22:17

DS has a knitted shawl, well part of it, he has had since birth that goes to bed with him and comes out when he feels ill or very tired. It is grubby and been repaired so many times it barely resembles what it did. I have tried to explain that shawls are for little boys, that he cannot start nursery until he stops using it, that his baby sister might like it and that the shawl fairy could come and take it away in return for a great present. All of these he has refused and is insistent he will not go to sleep without it. I have hidden it every night this week hoping he will forget about it and every night just after his door has closed he shouts through asking where is his shawl. How have others gotten rid of comforters successfully. He is 3.

OP posts:

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starlight2007 · 20/08/2015 22:21

Can I ask why you need to get rid of it? I realise it doesn't have a lot of life left in it however if he isn't taking it out what harm is it doing? Can you imagine asking a child trying to get rid of a teddy..It is the same thing..My DS has one teddy he must sleep with still

imwithspud · 20/08/2015 22:21

He's only 3. Why would you want to get rid of it? It's not doing any harm surely? It's normal for children to have comfort items, they tend to grow out of using them in their own time.

caravanista13 · 20/08/2015 22:22

He is three - exactly! He's still a baby. I really can't see why it matters that he still has a comfort blanket - he'll grow out of it in time.

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caravanista13 · 20/08/2015 22:22

Cross post!

CharCharGabor · 20/08/2015 22:23

Agree with starlight :) plenty of older children have comfort objects/routines for bedtime. And three is only small! :) I'd just leave him with it tbh, it sounds like he gets a lot of comfort from it.

CharCharGabor · 20/08/2015 22:24

Xpost, agree with others too!

Haggisfish · 20/08/2015 22:24

Erm 5 yo dd still needs her teddy to go to sleep-she took him to nursery for nap time, too. Not seeing the issue here.

Palomb · 20/08/2015 22:25

I have tried to explain that shawls are for little boys

Is is a little boy! He's only a baby really. What harm could a blanket possibly do? My ten year old Dd has a rag, it gives her a lot of comfort and I expect it will still be giving her comfort when she's 15, 21, 50.. So what? Don't be mean.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDo · 20/08/2015 22:26

If it gives him a feeling of comfort & security when he goes to sleep why take that from him? He'll let it go when he doesn't need it any more & if it's just at bed time then no one else need ever know.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 20/08/2015 22:26

Ds had his till he was 7, it was well loved, ripped, stained and hidden down his bed when friends came over ... no harm done.

sunnydayinmay · 20/08/2015 22:26

DS1 is 11, and DS2 is 8. Both still sleep with their comforters. On a recent school trip, DS1 and his room mates had a chat about the fact that they had all, independently, left their bedtime toys etc at home, but brought substitutes with them!

Let him sleep with his shawl.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 20/08/2015 22:27

I didn't! Ds2 is 7 and still has his favourite, albeit well worn, bear to go to sleep with every night.

There's no need to take it off him.

BeachysFlipFlops · 20/08/2015 22:29

My dd is off to uni in a couple of weeks. How should I wean her off her blanky? I'm assuming she might replace it with a man at some stage, but it's definitely making the journey to halls.....

Rarity08 · 20/08/2015 22:29

My dd 9 still sleeps with her comfort bear. It's not a big deal to me.

MimsyBorogroves · 20/08/2015 22:32

No issue with bears, blankets or anything of this ilk here either.

I'm 33 and still have my two childhood bears.

bushtailadventures · 20/08/2015 22:34

I know a 23 yr old, not too far from me, who still has a part of his baby quilt. It's only for times of illness or extreme stress, but still...

At 3 I wouldn't even be thinking of weaning him off it, if it was a dummy, maybe, but a bit of shawl he only wants at bedtime, I don't think it is a problem.

steppemum · 20/08/2015 22:34

dd1 had a piece of one of her muslin cloths that she couldn't sleep without. It gradually got smaller and smaller and eventually became a scarf on her teddy, but she still has it.
she is 10.

dd2 has a teddy that she cannot sleep without (well, she can and does, but she is pretty dependent on it) she is 7 and a couple of years ago after hours of bedtime searching, we made a deal that that teddy lives on her bed and doesn't leave the house.

ds is 12 and has never had a comfort blanket. I have never encouraged either of the dds, but they have them and want and need them. It is a very simple effective comfort for them, and I have never seen the need to get rid of them.

Let him keep it.

AssembleTheMinions · 20/08/2015 22:36

Dd1 (16) still sleeps with her very well loved mouse and dd2 (12) still takes her tatty blanket to bed as well. I have no issue with either. 3 is still so little to take something so precious away.

Stubbed · 20/08/2015 22:42

Poor thing. Give him back his shawl

ffffffedup · 20/08/2015 22:45

Leave him with it he's 3 not 13 for Christ's sake

imwithspud · 20/08/2015 22:47

My dd1 is nearly 3 and has become really attached to a stuffed animal that we bought for her on a trip to the zoo a few months ago. Never expected her to get so attached but she adores it and wouldn't be without it now. The toy is starting to look a bit tired and battered but I find it so cute, I wouldn't dream of taking it off her any time soon.

whiteagle · 20/08/2015 22:48

Give it back.

My ds (7) has a comforter teddy that he always sleeps with. We are very firm though now he is older that it never leaves the house - too many close calls when he was young. I have no issue with it at all and it gives him great comfort.

I am sure i have read that transitional objects are good for kids wellbeing giving them more emotional stability.

If anything, i would enforce an only at home rule.

Bakeoffcake · 20/08/2015 22:53

DD2 is 21 and still has her blanky on her bed! She'll never get rid of it. If it were a teddy or cuddly toy, you wouldn't throw it away so why do so with a comforter?

OP your ds is still a little boy, if it stays in his bed and only comes out when he's ill, then leave him to it!

mabythesea · 20/08/2015 22:57

It doesn't do any harm, so long as it stays in bed and isn't being dragged around what's the problem?

Bakeoffcake · 20/08/2015 22:57

And I would add, DD2 isn't the only one of her friends to still have her comforter. I'm on first name terms with many a cuddly toy/blanket, who have visited during sleepovers, over the years.

Dd has also said that 50% of her friends at university also still have their comforter with them!

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