3 year old and friendships...

[ComeTalkToMe]

I'm looking for some reassurance and advice please!

My 3yr 8month old DD is quite a sensitive child generally. She can be outgoing in groups where she is totally comfortable eg extended family but is also clingy at times.

She's attended a private nursery for a couple of days a week since young but is also now at school nursery. She has a 'best friend' there, I am friends with her mum and we help each other - she picks DD up for me on Thursday, I get both girls on a Friday.

However, I am disgusted by some of my daughter's behavious towards her friend. She doesn't share well, gets angry if things don't go her way, invades her friend's personal space and is moany. I'm at a loss to know how to discipline for this - I do remove her from situation but that often seems to inflame it. I want to teach her about friendships and being nice to people but any time I talk to her about it away from the situation she agrees and does the same thing again.

Any advice? Do they just get better at being friends with others?

Yes, they just get better at it

She's still very young to have a proper 'friend'. Keep on as you are, she'll get the hang of it eventually.

That sounds completely normal. She's only 3, bless her. At the moment she will have very little concept of most of the things you mention. Of course she should learn, and this is the right age to teach her - but just because they are "friends" doesn't mean your DD then makes the leap to be nicer to this child than any others. Disgusted, honestly, is quite a strong word.

Just encourage sharing. Tell her it is nice to share, explain they both get X minutes playing with a toy they both like, encourage them to have "kind hands" rather than grabby hands and all that. She will learn gradually.

The idea of friendship isn't quite the same thing to a 3yo as it is to us. DD clearly has friends at nursery, kids she talks about all the time and is excited to see and is apparently always playing with. But she refuses to acknowledge than anyone in nursery is a "friend" - "friends" are kids we see socially once every few weeks. Which is very odd really, but it's like a work colleague - social friend split!

Last time we were at the park with someone DD calls her best friend one of them stormed off announcing "I don't want to be your friend anymore!"

Thanks guys. I know I can over react about these things, I was just really shocked at some of it as I've never seen her be 'nasty' to another child like this before and this is her 'friend'. You're totally right though, disgusted is a strong word, just need to keep teaching her!! xx