How much and often do and should you buy 'stuff' for the kids?

[Vijac]

We can afford to regularly buy the odd toy etc but don't want them to get spoilt. Ds 3.5 often gets a magazine and fairly often a toy. For example this week one day at the theatre he got one of those light up twirly things, then another day we went to the children's charity shop and I got him a book he likes the audio of, that came in a bag with an animal puppet. I also got a playdo set that was £2 for us to play with. A friend gave him a sticker book at the weekend and last week he used his pocket money to buy an electronic car type toy for £8 from the charity shop. This is probably a bit more than usual, it being summer holidays.

Do you think it's bad to but random stuff like this. Is he going to get spoilt? His birthday is near Christmas so it makes it a bit hard to space out. Eg. When do we get paddling pool, balls, sunglasses etc.

The things you mention aren't big things tbh op. I don't consider ds spoilt by any means and we do similar to you, more so in the summer as our ds would otherwise go for long stretches without anything new - his birthday is a month before Christmas. I also think the things in the shops during summer are summertime toys that aren't on sale during the winter. So when the weather has been good we've bought water pistols, a diver's mask and snorkel, one of those water mats they slide down in the garden etc. Nothing we've bought has been expensive, just little things to help him enjoy the sunshine or if we go away somewhere. We gave him 20 euros for our holiday and told him he could spend it as he wished but when it's gone it's gone. He was so sensible with it! He's almost 5.

I try not to buy too much for my son but sometimes I can't help it. I cut back more as his birthday and Christmas are approaching otherwise I'll run out of things to buy for him. He gets toys just for birthday and Christmas most of the time but he has been to the toy shop twice in the space of 2/3 weeks or so, to me that's too much. He gets a magazine sometimes and sweets but never a toy. It's rare that I'll let him have something specifically from the toy shop otherwise it's little things like pocket money toys that last 5 minutes.
I've never thought about giving my son pocket money, but he does get occasional £2 from my bf's grandparents that goes in his money box. Other than that any money he gets is from birthdays or Christmas. When he saves it he can go to Toys R Us or Disney Store and pick what he wants.

But really I make up for it by overflowing his Xmas stocking and buying too many presents and treats for him!
We never got pocket money as kids. We were only allowed sweets at weekends and we hardly ever got a magazine, if we did it was a miracle!

I definitely don't think my kids are spoilt, they certainly hear enough of "no we can't buy that or go there (eg Disneyland) because we can't afford it"

BUT I do buy them little bits and pieces of toys/books/clothes if I see things I think they would like in charity shops, and so does my mum. They would never get a big toy for no reason though, if we do buy them something we save it for either a birthday/xmas or a special present like a starting school / good school report etc

I'd never buy them a magazine because they are such an over-priced waste of money which get thrown away. I'd much rather get them a book from a charity shop. If they get sweets as a treat it's usually a 15p lolly or 20p Freddo or similar. I buy big packs of sweets in the supermarket and they have one or two from time to time not a whole packet.

They get 50p pocket money a week from my mum, and have come to realise that even to buy the little toys in the shop they have to save up for them. They are 5,7 and 9.

My standard response to 'can you get me...' from my 4yo is 'is it your birthday? Is it Christmas? Then what's your answer?' If he goes on a bit more about whatever it is, I say we should put it on his Christmas list (he's allowed three things on his list).

Having said that, he does get bits and pieces - if we go somewhere for a day trip then he can pick something small from the gift shop to remember the day by, and since I work for a publishing company, he gets magazines fairly regularly. He seems to be turning out ok though ;)

My DS does not get big things apart from birthday and Christmas but we like to visit a nearby town now and again for a walk round their charity shops and for some lunch so I often spend a couple of pounds on books or a toy. My mum will also often bring him a cheap book, dvd or toy she picked up. But then I buy magazines, books, DVDs on a regular basis, my partner buys video games when he can so I don't see it any different to us having a treat now and then.

It's just toys take up more room!

I have been thinking about this. My youngest (nearly 4) is very acquisitive and if he is the wrong way out (i.e. tired) will have a total paddy if I don't buy him something in a shop. He is OK if he isn't tired and will accept he can't have things all the time. But if he is tired he will tantrum and be a spoilt brat!

In the term time he is a nursery and my eldest at school so there is limited opportunity for constant buying. Its tricky in the summer tho as we are out and about with friends, going to cafes, visiting parks and NT places and there are treats and gift shops everywhere! They also spend a couple of days a week with my parents who spoil them rotten too.

I am fairly relaxed about it as it is a summer thing, and I think as my son gets less tired in the afternoons he will become more accepting of the limits.

But it is on my mind - when I was a kid we certainly didn't have treats and ice creams every day!

Dd 12 has been very indulged tbh. At 4 she would have a Friday treat which would be a toy up to around £20, she'd get 2 magazines during the weekly shop a book or two a week and endless top ups to craft supplies. Now she rarely asks for anything and hardly ever spends any pocket money, I can't think of the last time she wanted anything outside of her birthday and Christmas. I tend to take her to the cinema, theatre and out for lunch as treats instead nowadays but nobody I know would call her spoiled.

This is something I've been thinking about. My 3.5 year old DD gets a lot of little things from me and her dad, her gps, aunties, uncles etc and I do worry about her becoming spoilt. I've started to cut back to make sure she doesn't expect as much.

It's not just becoming whiny and spoilt though, I think if they always get it becomes so much less exciting when they do for you and them...

I've really been wondering this as ds has his birthday near Xmas too. He possibly get similar to yours. I found it hard to think what he'd want over the next year at Xmas/ birthday time.

I guess I've been watching for signs that we can go in and out of s shop without expecting anything or wanting anything/ accepting that he can't have a magazine. So far I'm finding him good at this. I think we've sort of decided less is more at Xmas and birthdays for the time being then money when older so he can choose.

I was good at saving as a child and it's kept with me as I got older. My cousin is too - we are both within a month of Xmas.

They're reasonably forgetful at this age I guess if you see signs of expecting stuff all the time.

I think they appreciate doing asuch as stuff at this age. - any age.

I suppose consumables are good too, things that will get used up quickly rather than hoarded. I'm taking that tactic with gifts for others actually.

My almost 4 year old loves barbie dolls at the minute and has been playing with my ancient dolls for a few weeks. Today we saw a doll in the local supermarket and she picked it up, her face lit up when I said she could have it I like buying her things, she is not spoilt and her manners are better than most adults!