Children acused of something they didn't do?????

[babalon]

Yesterday I got a phone call from the dc's headmaster telling me that a parent had reported seeing my ds(7) get beaten up on the way to school . He then proceeded to tell me that the attackers were my dd (9) and the boy and girl from across the road!
He went on to tell me that ds was fine and had been reluctant to tell what had happened. My dh and I were extremely angry and went across the road to speak to the other childrens parents who were equally shocked and angry.
DD and Ds came home and I questioned them seperately. Ds said the the boy across the road pushed him over because he was annoying him, then Ds decided not to get up So the girls and this boy tried to get him up and dragged him across the floor but that was all that had happened. Dd said the same, but the head had said that this parent had seen what she thought was a bag being kicked on the ground until it said let me up and she realise it was my ds

I don't know what to think, why would a parent make something up? But why would my ds not tell us if this had happened. I don't want to be a parent who takes everything the school says as gospel but I don't want my kids to take me as a mug.

Help opinions please,

Will be back after walking dc to school, 2 minutes away s I don't feel I can trust them at the present

Can you explain exactly what the Head told you and then ask for an explanation (assure them you won't be cross for lying in the first place)? Also is your son covered in bruises as one would expect from being kicked?

I also meant to say that to adult eyes a small fracas between kids might seem far worse than it really is especially if the woman who saw it only has one child and isn't used to rough and tumble.

I've told them what had been said, and my dd said that she told the head that she might have kicked ds after they'd been told off for lying. So I think she was trying to get the teacher to back off.
First thing I did was check ds no bruises just a dirty scuff mark on his coat and shirt that tally's up with the kids story.
I feel awful because the other boy involved was house captain but the school have taken it off him.

I think if the boy pushed him onto the ground then he probably shouldn't be house captain.

Personally I would leave it. You aren't going to get to the bottom of it. They have been given a good telling-off and that is probably all you can do.

I think you need to speak to the head and say that this is what you understand happened. Say that you can understadn why the other parent might have thought it was more serious than it was. Explain that yuo have talked to all the children involved - two after all are your own children and one of whom is the supposed vicitm - and have checked the "physical" evidence, ie dort on the clothes and signs of bruining, and they all corroborate the children's account.

From the sound of it, on this occasion, the children are telling a realisitc account - there was a wee incident, but what happened next "looked" more serious that what it was.

I think your children - and thier friends - need to know that you beleieve them. otherwsie next time, they might not be so honest with you about what happens, if there ever are future incidents. Adn let's face it - children do get into scrapes.

It is easy to impose our adult assumtions on any situation, we see on the news that youths kick each other to the ground etc and assume it is common.

Perhaps this parent saw "something" and jumped to conclusions.

I had an incident where I was informed that one of my mindees was being beaten up in the school playground. The "onlooker" reported it to a teacher who intervened. I turned around to some very shocked little faces. The younger one had actually been chasing his older brother and his best friend. It was a typical game for this family and no one was hurt or even upset but this "onlooker" was adament the younger was was in danger and being attacked!!!!

My Ds can be very antagonistic (sp) at times, but yes I agree with you morningpaper about maybe this boy the wrong person for the house captains job.

I think I will go and speak to the head when dh gets up (on nights) I have told the dcs that I'll try and sort things out, Ds rarely lies and he's bad at it when he does, dd is almost compulsive in her lying at times. I also explained that if they hadn't lied in the past I wouldn't doubt them now. Maybe a important lesson has been learn't

Ok situation resolved, head teacher realised that situation was miss read and blown out of proportion. Children shown the error of their ways ie boy told not to push over ds who's 3 years younger than him, ds told not to lie on floor and refuse to get up and girls told not to drag ds across floor but to leave him if this happens again.

All have minor punishments and the fa that I'll be walking them to school for the forseeable future. So biggest punishment to me who has to get self and 16 week old ds2 up and dressed for school run and I didn't do anything wrong

Thanks for your comments and help