If you have no extended family to help.....

[nonsense0name]

If you have no extended family help (for whatever reason) and no spare time away from the home/children what things lift you up?

For us it's making sure the kids are in bed on time and watching what we want on the telly
Taking them all out for a walk and making sure we hang back so we get a little bit of space
Saying no to some things like kids parties so that we are not always running around after them

but recently this is not always enough, I did think about hiring some child care this summer to have a couple of days off but never done this so wouldn't know where to start....and the kids would be very confused.

A family holiday also just seems like more of the same but without the comforts of home....

Please share your thoughts, thanks

Holiday club if you can afford it.

We're just like Artandco

Our kids come everywhere with us, and bedtimes aren't restricted. Weekends away, meals out, cinema trips, holidays, all together.

Kids grow up so fast, and one day you'll have all the time in the world to do things alone x

I was considering a holiday club for my eldest, youngest is already in nursery and I'm a sort of SAHM. Volunteering is possible longer term for finding friends or just non work social stuff. I did youth work which is a nice break from small kids. Evening classes would be good if you get out or even just fitness classes. Your SAHD DH might be able to find some good volunteer opportunities once kids are back in school, or even part time work. Most of my Dh's friends are via work but it depends on the job and colleagues. It's also easier to go for drinks etc when you don't have kids.

It isn't just the social bit but building back your identity after being swallowed by parenting.

If you are remotely inclined do try your local churches, we've met a few people there despite me being very antisocial. People are often very friendly and welcoming but many are very liberal Christians, almost spiritual really. It can become an automatic community and people are often very ready to help. Finding the right church can be tricky though. An alpha course may be a good option to ease in and meet others while finding out if it fits you. But ignore if you are a staunch atheist or other religion.

But also go easy on yourself and DH, it is tough and having no support sucks - I'm so tempted to move to be close to family support as we miss out so much.

4 dcs here aged between 3-8 and no family support - all half a world away!

It's been hard, but we had kids 'later' in life, and lived a pretty full life til then, so I don't feel as though we are missing out on much, until around now!

I've swapped baby sitting favours with friends a couple of times, and need to do this more. One of our dcs is in the process of being diagnosed with autism, so this has been a massive additional challenge for us. I've never been to comfortable with unknown babysitters, esp when they are young.

However, we often take the kids out to dinner to restaurants where we want to do (on occasion this can be a challenge with autistic dc). I'd say about once a month we socialise with other families where it is probably more about the adults socialising than the kids :-)

We get the kids to bed earlier to get a few hours to ourselves at nights and tend to watch box sets!

Now that last dc is in nursery, dh occasionally has an 'appointment' and we go out for brunch when the kids are at school (I'm a Sahm). We feel like a tight unit in our family, and do a lot together. Dh and I would go out on our own with friends once or twice a month also. We don't have outrageous social lives, but we get out a bit, more so as the dcs get older.

My family live abroad and dp only has his mum who is too far away to help out. Dp and I take turns to go out, but we never get to go out alone together. We have had one night out alone in 3 years for 2 hours, i asked a friend to babysit while the dc slept.

However, I make it a point to get some time to myself during the week. Either swimming, the gym, going into town, dinner with friends. Keeps me sane.