Help me avoid the pitfalls of being 'disadvantaged' please.

[nearlyteatime101]

I have recently found out DD (21mo) is eligible for 2 year old childcare funding as she is disadvantaged due to our low income. Obviously I would like to avoid her being disadvantaged. Does anyone know why kids from lower earners are disadvantaged, and if so what can i do to avoid it?

Extra information:

• we both work, DH more so than me. I look after her most the time.
• we don't struggle financially day to day but we can't afford classes (massage, tumble tots etc)

Don't panic about knowing phonics. Good reading skills are all that's needed to help with homework.

Technically I grew up in a 'disadvantaged' household. Bollocks to that - I had a brilliant childhood,a fantastic mum, never took anything for granted, inherited a strong work ethic and ended up with a first class degree. Money doesn't mean everything.

Someone mentioned on the 'class' thread about being prepared to push for stuff (in a medical context). I work with families that can usually be described as disadvantaged, and this being prepared to push for stuff does make a difference. If your child gets to school you have a concern, pick up the phone and get it dealt with. Don't be meek! Also, every so often, reflect on how you speak to your child. If it sounds loving, you are doing great. If it sounds like they are a frustration or in the way of what you would really like to be doing, sort yourself out.
Disclaimer. i don't mean never do anything thst isnt child oriented, I.just mean.be kind.

Please don't doubt your parenting. It's just statistics, not destiny! Try to see the free nursery hours as a nice added extra which your son is lucky enough to get.

In terms of what you can do to help, I'd say:

1. According to the research it's educational achievement that matters, not parental income per se. Having a low level of education hugely increases a person's risk of poverty. The way that links to parental income is that a parent with low income is likely to have low level of education. It's that - less education - which is usually passed onto the child. And the child's lack of education in turn increases their risk of experiencing poverty.

No-one really knows how educational attainment is passed from one generation to the next. But looking at things that seem to mitigate it (parents being in work, parents valuing education) suggests you're in a good position. Something to consider would be how you can push for and show you value your child's education. Be really interested in it, ask about and help with homework. And finally, have high expectations for what he will achieve educationally (I'm with squizita that all you need to help with homework is the ability to read well. You don't need to understand what they're doing: even if they get stuck, just get them to tell you about it, and help them to go through what the teacher has told them, maybe find more on the Internet, and get them to go through it step by step explaining it to you as they go. You expect them to know more about it than you!).

1. Good language skills are hugely important, and as a pp said that's one of the things that seems to be very affected by parents education / income level. So that's definitely one to focus on. I'd add a note of caution to what pp have said about giving a running commentary though. Although it's important to give them information about everything around them, it isn't really about volume of speech. It has to be a conversation and not a one-way monologue (even though their side of the conversation might be actions rather than words, if that makes sense). The most important thing is to respond to what they say, and what they are looking at / doing at that moment.

1. Varied experiences are really good for children. As well as opening their minds, it gives them new vocabulary and also a reason to talk - so it's good for language development. It's harder to do with less money, but as pp have said there are loads of great things which are cheap or free. Classes like massage and tumble tots are just an easy (everything organised for you!) and pleasant way for the parents to have some fun with their children. There really isn't anything particularly special about them, so don't worry that you don't go to them.

The link with low income is that parents with low income often have other stresses in their lives, and don't have the time and emotional space to find all those fun free things to do - but you've said that you don't struggle financially day to day, so I assume that your income isn't causing your family huge problems.

Its all statistical as pp have said low income is the criteria but find free stuff to do yes the library book bug session story time take her out and about walks etc prioritise days out look at what you want to do a good quality day out was better than lots of softplay centres (does that make sense and not sound poncey) , as mine got older we took them to museums loads are free. Btw take the free hours if you need them.

I brought up 90s children and we did 1 or 2 things in the week they didnt have loads of activities to go to its fine