For the past year my dd1 (nearly 3) has been going to my parents-in-law for two afternoons a week. It started when I was heavily pregnant with dd2, to give me a break.
My in-laws spoil dd rotten. Chocolate on tap, eating when she likes, how she likes, where she likes, lots and lots and lots of Nick Jr. and Cbeebies (virtually all afternoon I think), rewarding whingy behaviour with extra attention... I could go on.
On the other hand they are extremely loving, generous and PATIENT with her - I'm definitely lacking the latter! They don't just park her in front of the TV, like I do, bad mother that I am, but actually sit and watch with her. They play with her in the garden, do teddy bear's picknicks and other games... inbetween watching TV. Dd1 loves them to bits, and I really enjoy the break, especially now that dd2 goes there for part of the afternoons too. Dd1 doesn't "try it on" with me, either, in spite of what she gets at her Nan's - she never asks for chocolate or for the TV on during the day (here, she only watches before bedtime).
Do you think I can continue letting her go to her Nan's, or should I let her go less? My M-i-L knows how I do things with dd1, but I think she feels it's her prerogative to be different, which it is, I suppose. I can't really say anything to her, as she'd be offended, and dh wouldn't want me to.
Do you think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill?
Oh, one thing that makes me doubt the arrangement is that the mums I socialize with all send their children to nursery, talking about the importance of stimulating play and socializing for their children - one of my friends said specifically that she wouldn't let her sons stay with her Mum because of lack of stimulation.
Dd does go to playgroup two mornings a week, and we do toddler groups and other activities.