HELP! DS is nearly 7yo and this morning said "sex"

[Mummyofonesofar]

This morning DS who will be 7 in a couple of months was getting ready in his bedroom and he was mubbling to himself and I thought I heard him say sex. I went in and calmly asked him to repeat it. He said it was something rude and he didn't want to say it again, he thought he would be in trouble. Eventually he admitted he said the word sex but when questioned he said that he didn't know what it meant or where he heard it.

I said that it is something normal but something that he shouldn't understand at his age and that he shouldn't use words he doesn't understand without checking with me first. I told him it is how babies are made with Mummys & Daddys and that it doesn't involve children.

When did your children find out the word and how did you react?? I'm really sad that someone has said sex infront of him and taking his innocence away.

My son is the same age and we recently explained how babies are made. But I'm not sure we actually called it 'sex'! This may have been a silly omission. Oh dear will have to raise the subject again - poor child.

Raasay I didn't say that to him, I said "he shouldn't use words he doesn't understand without checking with me first" ie he can come and ask what words mean rather than just using them with no context.

Ok Mummy, I was just quoting from your own OP though.

We have a policy with DSS that any word he is told is "rude" or "naughty" he is invited to ask questions about it. We're quite laid back with what words he uses, under the proviso that no "rude" words are said in anger or arguments, and are not said to other adults or children. To be honest, he's a good kid when it comes to rude words - he acknowledges that to use one would mean to be told off so never uses them outside of the home, which we are fine with - I'd rather him know what they are so that he doesn't end up glibly using them with friends without knowing the meaning and getting told off without knowing he's done wrong (which he absolutely hates).

He'll be 6 next month and knows all the typical gross boy words like willy and fart and turd etc. He knows what a vagina is, mainly because he came home from school completely confused thinking women had willys too but just had boobs instead. We didn't explain the mechanics of sex, rather that when he was born, he was in his Mummy's tummy and then came out of her "front bottom" - to which he asked whether he was a human poo . Then he played on Minecraft and it's not been spoken about again.

To my knowledge he's not mentioned sex, or asked what it is yet. When he does, we'll chat to him about it using the knowledge he already has and judging his level of comprehension at the time. I wouldn't be shocked that he knows it - my DSS goes to a school where he is, at 6, one of the youngest pupils - the school teaches up to 10 y/o - and I'd be surprised if a 10 year old hadn't either been actively taught or told about sex - so chances are he's heard it in the playground. You can't monitor what kids say in a playground, I'm afraid.

Hi OP, I attended a webinar this week about talking about sex and relationships with DC. The key thing I learned was that messages start from a very young age (think 2). I have DD 7 and DS 4 asking different types of questions and understand the policy should always be to answer honestly in an age appropriate way.

Below are the resources we were suggested to look at after the session (for different ages)

FPA
Advice for parents and information about sexual health. Publish leaflets and booklets for children of different ages.
www.fpa.org.uk

Family Lives
Specific advice on issues like pornography, sexting and sexuality, with helpline and email support.
www.familylives.org.uk

NSPCC
Useful sections on talking to children of all ages on sex, stranger danger and staying safe.
www.nspcc.org.uk

FFLAG
Supports parents and their gay, lesbian and bisexual sons and daughters.
www.fflag.org.uk

Brook
Provides free and confidential sexual health advice to young people via email, webchat and telephone helpline.
www.brook.org.uk

Useful Books
The following books are written for children (2-10 years):

Where Willy Went, Nicholas Allen
Mummy Laid an Egg, Babette Cole
Hair in Funny Places, Babette Cole
There’s a House inside my Mummy, Giles Andreae
Ready, Set, Grow (What’s Happening to My Body?), Lynda Madaras
Let’s Talk About Sex, Robie H. Harris
Let’s Talk About Where Babies Come From, Robie H. Harris
Where did I come from? Peter Mayle

I explained to my 8 yo DS what sex was (he had been saying things which made me think he needed to know) - explained the mechanics and that sometimes it resulted in babies,sometimes not. He thought it was disgusting and then said 'I'm too young for this information'

mama I remember feeling too young to learn about it when I did too!

Thanks Sebda He knows babies come out of the vagina – he knows that he has a willy and testicles and girls have vaginas and breasts. He knows the woman has an egg and the man has a seed and together they can make a baby. It’s the mechanical side of things he doesn’t know – nor has he asked questions on yet. Will have a look into those books. Thanks!

Hi OP the puberty one (get set grow) is v good (arrived in my Amazon delivery today!) for 10 yo DS would be at the right level for physical and emotional aspects

Sorry I'm mixing my threads! There's another one running re a 10 year old
I also bought 'mummy laid an egg' which I think will be a good way to discuss sex as part of a relationship as well as for making babies that both my 4 yo and my 7 yo will enjoy and benefit from.