Terrible attitude in a 9 yr old!!

[peppajay]

I was just wondering how others deal with attitude and rudeness from their 9 yr olds. The way my DD speaks to me sometimes is shocking the attitude she uses along with the facial expressions and body language is terrible. I used to rise to it and send her to her room or confiscate her iPod and often found myself shouting and screaming back but i think she actually relished in all the extra attention so I am now ignoring the way she speaks to me - however me not reacting is winding her up so much she has going with the attitude for almost an hour and she has been shouting in myself and I am all calm and ignoring the attitude but not her- however she has just shoved me because I make her so angry. I have been trying the same tactics for the last few days and the attitude definitely disappears quicker when i ignore it but is far more intense!! I was doing so well but she has just pushed me so far that I have shouted and screamed again do we are back to square one. I know they all do it at this age but what can I do or do others do to make them realise that the behaviour is unacceptable!!

bloody hormones.

keep bloodsugar up with slow acting foods, keep hydrated, keep then at the right temperature... keep them well rested, deep pressure hugs and praising good behaviour. lots of attention for good behaviour. keep ignoring bad or clear sanctions like ipod removal. (ds gets sanctioned with computer time. I try to avoid trouble to start with. he is vile when not fed and just out of school) does she get some destress time when she gets in where she is fed and able to be quiet?

oh and try not to shout... (easier said than done)

Also, avoid Disney/Nikolodeon TV shows aimed at this age group. Seriously, turn that stuff OFF. The shows are full of this precocious "attitude" and girls emulate it.

Agreed about the TV shows. Ice caught some of these here and there and they are AWFUL - parents only there to be abused!

I can relate to this!! I have also just realised how terrible TV aimed at this age group is as I happened to sit down a watch a program with the kids & I was so shocked! Its all whining, spoilt brat behaviour, boyfriends & how they look etc I had no idea! unfortunately the worst of these programs happens to be their favourite show, so not sure how to just ban it now......

The stuff youre talking about is hormones but imo I don't think talking to you in that way is right. Mine do it, and I am firm about it, however I think it is hard cos its constant sometimes and you can't always be on their case. Basically though, if they want to talk to me like a piece of shit then they will realise that it will get them no-where. Praise whats good as much as poss too, it does help.