What things make your life as a full time working parent easier?

[mommathatwearspink]

I returned to work full time in January after maternity leave with DD. Since then it has been a constant struggle to balance everything. Myself and DP leave at 7:30am and return home after 6pm and I pick up DD from nursery on my way home. Looking for some advice on what things makes your life easier when you work full time? A cleaner is out of our budget unfortunately but we could maybe push to an ironer so that's a start.

I feel your pain: it's just non-stop!

The biggest difference I have found has been to reduce my working hours and work from home some of the time, but I appreciate that is not an option open to everyone.

Definitely get rid of ironing: what a waste of time, unless you actually enjoy it :-) (Search on mumsnet for tips on how to manage your creases!)

I still don't feel on top of everything any of the time, and I have been back at work for a few years! Slowly though, I have had to reduce my 'clean and tidy' standards, but I have found that very very difficult.

Get everyone to eat their main meal from the canteen at work/school/nursery and just make a sandwich when you get home. And eat it off a paper plate.

Non-iron work clothes only.

I'm following with interest as this will be me next year

Our cleaner does 3 hours a fortnight which means I just wipe as I go.

Batch cook where possible, we've switched to Aldi and are saving loads, with a once a month tesco shop for what we can't get.

Neither of us iron, washing comes out of the washer and onto airer or clothes line if it's dry out.

I second the not going upstairs empty handed and try to tidy as you go

Gin
Excel spread sheets
Brilliant CM

Not neccessarily in that order.

We both work full time so here is what I have found helps:

If you can work from home even for just one day a week it helps, I find I throw a load in the machine or make a quick phone call whilst waiting for the kettle to boil.

Load in the machine every morning and tumble drier in evening, fold clothes whilst warm and they don't create thus ruling out ironing.

Have more sets of school uniform than the average person thus reducing need to wash during the week.

Take advantage of hot meals at nursery/school/work meaning you just need to make a sandwich in the evening.

Clean bathroom when kids are in the bath, makes you feel virtuous as you can talk to kids whilst doing a chore.

By a steam cleaner, cuts down on time spent mopping etc and reduces need for chemicals.

Choose your clothes wisely when shopping, avoid anything that creases badly and requires pressing. I live in jersey type dresses that look smart even after commuting or straight from drier.

Depending on age of child get them involved in chores as soon as possible, bribe if needed! I gave a 9, 6 and 4 year old and they can all tidy, strip beds, dust, do the dishwasher, fold and put clothes away etc depending on their age. Start this young and it becomes habitual.

Organise yourself the night before, 20 minutes spent putting clothes and bags out saves time and stress in the morning. Also shower/bath at night it helps to de-stress and saves frantic mornings.

I found that having a 10kg washer made the world of difference to me. I had 4 kids at home at one point and always seemed to have mountains of washing meeting me at the door. Now I pretty much do one load a day and it goes on a 1 hour wash while we eat dinner and then right into the tumble drier. When its towels/bedding day it takes just 2 loads and everything is done! My kids have 2 uniforms and I wash them all on a 15 minute load midweek. Then they go into the dryer last thing at night ready for the morning, along with my clothes too. That means that at 7.30am it's a 5 minute tumble dry while I have a brew and all clothes are crease free, smell lovely and are warm and snug. I also swear by colour catcher sheets so I can do mixed washes and no longer have to sort out colours.

I have a plastic tub in each room, and all bits of toys/books/clutter goes into that and onto the stairs. Then on the stairs they are sorted into rooms and then they go upstairs to their owner. If they don't get moved within 48 hours, they go in the bin.

As for meals, there is no shame on relying on things like frozen pizza for a quick meal. My kids love pizza wth a pre-packaged salad and then fruit cocktail and ice cream for afters. Or Fish fingers with lots of frozen veg. I make sure that when I have more time they get a more balanced diet but midweek, its all school dinners and convenience food mixed with easy veg/salad.

My dh and I both work full time and it can really feel like juggling constantly. We have 3 dcs, aged 9, 7 and 2, and these are some of the things that have seen us through:

• accept that you are going to be busy. I find that the more I fight it, the worse I feel, whereas I now feel like it's a treat if I get to watch some telly / browse Facebook.
• make your children your hobby - include them in your life outside of work. We have found that they love being taken along to things that we want to do occasionally. Of course, we also do more child-focused things as well.
• meal plan - absolutely essential, with a weekly shop. I used to do it online, but dh prefers to go to the shop, which saves me even more time! Batch cook - I freeze individual portions, mostly for dh and I to have at work, as children have school dinners - do not give in to pleas for packed lunches!
• you MUST get everything ready the evening before, no matter how tired you are, or how much you are craving a night off - your morning self will love you for it and you don't worry about what you've missed, so you can enjoy what rest you do get.
• do life admin in your lunch break.
• I combine my work and personal calendars on my phone, so I always know exactly where everyone is, who is in charge, and what needs to be remembered.
• I can't afford a weekly cleaner, but I do have one once a month - it all helps.
• wash, at least one load, every day - also from about March to October, I hang washing on the line when it's done and it doesn't come in until it's dry. Have a permanent airer in the house, that you can constantly rotate clothes on. Prioritise washing uniforms, and have as many items of uniform as you can afford (or are allowed - in the case of my dh)
• clean as you go - my dh and I take turns to put the dc to bed - whoever isn't doing bedtime, rushes around the garden and house like mad getting tidied up and ready for the next day. Also make sure you have a special chat at bedtime with each child - it's surprising what you find out!
• be organised - get tasks done as soon as they come in, which avoids too many last minute panics
• go easy on yourself. Your house is not going to look like they do in the adverts. Probably best not to buy new sofas / decorate for a few years - plenty of time to do that when you retire.
• enjoy it, you'll miss it when it's over!!!

Use frozen chopped onions or use your food processor to chop them for you (still have to peel) same with frozen peppers/green beans/veg of any kind.

Use that grater accessory for your food processor too, fab for cheese grating and carrot grating for Annabel Karmel's chilli recipe.

I love my slow cooker, I double or triple the recipe, bag up extra and freeze. In fact double or triple up lots of meals and stock your freezer.

Freeze meals flat in a freezer bag not in a block. Defrosts faster. Same for mince.

Meal plan, in fact do a menu for the week or 2 if you can manage and stick to it. I have a 3 week menu, it is enough time in between to not get boring.

Check out YouTube for slow cooker/batch and freezer recipes.

Cleaner every 2 weeks
Clean bathroom while children are in the bath at night.
Fold & put away clothes whilst DH does story time.
Dishwasher on every night before bed, ditto washing machine, empty in the morning if you can.
Meals - variations on salad & cold meats/fish in summer, slow cooker meals in winter
Calendar is essential!

This is what makes it work for me, but appreciate wont work for everyone financially.

1. Having a nanny rather than nursery or child minder. It really makes a difference not having to get them organised and out in the morning. Nanny also does all child related house-keeping (their laundry etc), which cuts down a lot too.
2. cleaner
3. On line shopping (for pretty much everything)
4. Short commute.
5. Equally hands on DH.

Buy a Roomba (robot Hoover) you only need the most basic model, they're all the same power you just pay for the extras like programming, and is cheaper than a cleaner in the long run. A quick tidy up and switch on before we go out, or get it to do upstairs while you're downstairs eating a meal etc. Also a good way to get the kids to pick up their toys "the Roomba is going on in 5 minutes, any toys left out will get eaten!" It's great for keeping on top of the dog hair!

Work full time and travel a bit so here is what I try for... Much repeated from above!

... Systems. Clean Monday, admin Tuesday, a horrible job Wednesday, errands Thursday and night off Friday. This stops me being stressed about for example, paying a bill because I know I will do it in my admin time on a Tuesday night.
....5 mins tidying every morning even if it is just making beds and opening windows.
...never leave a room empty handed
....train rambunctious four year old into liking Star Wars bought us a bit of time in th evenings. I can clean whilst he fights the dark side.
...share the drops to guides/swimming with another mum so you only do it every other week.
...remember that in a few years the house will be clean and quiet...try and embrace the noise and mess [smug] [i have never mastered this.... My mother was awesome at it though]

I have 2 dcs and work similar hours, and find that routine is the key. When we get home, the kids go in front of the TV while I spend half an hour or so getting tomorrow's clothes out, cooking (only dishes I can put in the oven then leave the kitchen), put on a load of washing, putting the dishes away etc. Then we eat, and I'm free to play with the kids until bedtime - and even the bedtime routine is the same or very similar in terms of who does what and in what order. It's the evenings when the routine is thrown out that it becomes harder.

I've also lowered my standards a lot in terms of meals - tonight we ate tinned soup. But, sometimes that's what it takes to stay sane.

I get my clothes out the night before. DS picks his clothes for the next day. I put all the breakfast things out ready - oats in the pan, water in the kettle, teabag in the cup.

Slow cooker.
meal planner.
stop ironing.

I admire you all profoundly. Your stamina is amazing! But equally, it sounds depressing. You are brilliant women. The most incredible logistic managers.

It's funny how you get used to the manic level of activity and organisation needed to do this. I had DS1 in 97, DD in 99 and DS2 in 03. At one point I was taking DS2 to CM, DD to nursery and DS1 to school - all before I got myself to work.

For a brief time we had a cleaner but she gave up and we couldn't find another one. H used to work shifts and then went self-employed and worked long long days so much of the time I felt like a single parent. There was no downtime.

I look back and I DO NOT KNOW how I did it all, but now I find myself at a total loose end. I get home from work, DH and I cook dinner, make the lunch boxes for whoever needs them and someone does the washing up. No-one needs baths or bedtime stories. No-one needs to practice their reading with me. Very rarely do I have to help DS2 with hw. I sit down and watch TV and I can't relax - my head is still trying to find things for me to do!

I have taken up running and we got a dog - I feel much happier having two more obligations every evening....

Get a cleaner, even if you have to cut back on other treats or luxuries. We've never looked back. £25 hours for 2.5 hours and she is so worth it to leave our weekends as leisure time.