What's normal?

[teacoffeesomethingsweet]

I come from a very conservative and strict family where nothing was ever allowed. DS is not even 3 yet but I already worry that I will turn into one of these parents who either set no boundaries or are way to strict.
My friend mentioned yesterday that her 4yo DD was outside the house on her bike and disappeared somewhere for a few minutes with her friends. In my head I thought oh nooo a 4yo with no supervision?!
And then I thought it's maybe my upbringing and I'm being a stuck up cow.
So tell me, when did you allow your DC play outside with no supervision, or go to friends' houses, have a sleepover, walk to school on their own?
I want my DS to be independent but safe. I'm probably overthinking it, I know.

I think the fact that you are not sure if you are too strict or too lax probably means you are treading the fine middle line as well as any of us! We all over think it, and we all make mistakes, but in the end, as a teacher, I can tell you that if you are thinking about it and doing your best, your child will turn out fine.

There are basically two types of parent I have come across in all my years teaching. Those that try hard and do their best, and those who don't. You are clearly in the first camp.

There is a huge range of opinions amongst those in the first camp, and a huge range of ideas ad strategies, and judgements, but in the end,the kids know they are loved, and their parents do their best for them.

Think back to your own parents. Whatever you think of theirr individual judgements, you know in your heart whether they loved you and did their best, or not, don't you

4yo without supervision is awful!

Mine isn't yet four so I'm not really an expert, but instinctively I agree with you. I doubt very much that my friends with four-year olds would let them at outsude the house without supervision. In fact I'm certain they wouldn't.

She was just outside the house, it's a very quiet street and a lovely safe neighbourhood. My friend is a great mother and her kids are wonderful.
I just keep worrying about everything. I wish DS had come with a manual..

There are manuals. Hundreds of them. Buy a few child raising books to give you a more considered and even scientific view of what shapes children and how. You can still form your own opinions of course but it might give you a more rounded and clearer idea about how parenthood and child rearing works.

My eldest is 8 and I have only very recently let him play out on the park opposite but 99% of the time I'm stood in the window watching. Ds2 is 5 no way would I let him go on the park opposite in his own he doesn't understand boundaries like ds1 does, eg is only allowed on the grass area that's opposite our house he's not allowed to the play area unsupervised at the other end of the park where I can't see. I let them play in the gardens unsupervised that's it. I wouldn't worry too much about it you'll know when the times right and the situation is right to give them that extra freedom and let them go so to speak.