Surprise or indifference

[oneboy3girls]

If your tweens and teenagers say something,that you do not like ,is it best to be surprised /shocked or is it best to be neutral and offer acalm explanation ?

You haven't elaborated on what they have said.
If my Dcs, when young teenagers had used nasty swear words in my hearing, then I would have said something. If they expressed any form of Rascism or been derogatory about poor people, then I would have said something.
However as they were developing their own personalities I generally chose my battles carefully. I tried always to express my opinion in a calm way.