If you were smacked and don't smack yourself how did you explain this to your parents?

[doreenmcdoreen]

I'm deliberately not posting this in AIBU because I don't want it to turn bunfighty may be kidding myself though

I just wondered: if you were smacked as a child and have decided it's not something you will do yourself, have you managed to tell your parents this without making them feel like you're criticising them? What did you say? It's just I've seen threads before now from people whose parents have reacted badly to these sorts of conversations and I'm interested to know how to get it right?

I really don't think my parents would ever smack my DD (she's too young for it to even be an issue right now) but want to be crystal clear with them just to be sure and am not sure how best to go about it.

They were and are lovely parents and while I don't think being smacked did me any good, I don't hold it against them and don't want to sound like I do. DF has said before now (can't remember why it came up) that they preferred smacking to some more prolonged punishments that would have dragged on long after the offence itself was forgotten and they felt things could be over and done with and not hang over us for days.

To be honest I preferred having a smacked bum to being deprived of pocket money or a treat but I think in a way that made it less of a deterrent. Anyway, I'd appreciate advice on how to broach it with them without seeming like I'm having a go. Might be overthinking it, I realise!

I grew up largely during the seventies and early half of the eighties.

Smacking was much more accepted as a form of discipline then, and I was VERY occasionally smacked as a child. Only when I had really badly transgressed. Same for my younger sister, although I do remember how awful I sometimes felt for her on the odd occasion she was howling after a smack. I guess I sort of felt protective in a way. It certainly wasn't a regular thing.

We had, and still have, lovely parents, though they are elderly now.

I never made a conscious decision not to smack my children, but I don't recall ever actually doing it. I tended to do things like put them into their rooms away from me if they were pushing all my wrong buttons.

My parents have never provided much in the way of childcare. They have never raised a hand to any of their grandchildren as they don't like to interfere. We have never actually had the conversation at all. Same for DH's parents. Smacked their own occasionally, but were good parents and never interfered with us and ours.

I've never felt the need to explain myself... They know my child is never smacked and that's that. I don't question how they parented me, I don't expect them to question how I choose to parent.

Oh and they have never and would never smack their grandchild.

I was smacked as a child but don't smack my girls, nor do my parents. We use the 'naughty step' idea and it's so effective and such a good deterrent that my mother who looks after my two dds while I'm at work just uses this. I don't think that kind of punishment had been suggested when I was a child, only after the programme supernanny and if they had realised about how effective it was, perhaps they would have used it too.

It came up in a conversation betweeN me and my mum whilst on holiday together with dd. my mum made a joke about snacking dds bum and I used it as an opportunity to make sure she knew where I stood on the matter as she does occasionally look after dd.

I simply said, mum you do know I don't smack don't you? She said yes of course. That was it.