Holidays with very small children

[ohthegoats]

Are they ever really fun or relaxing for the parents?

OK, my baby is currently only 8 months, but we're trying to look at options for the summer holidays, and it's all sounding stressful and dreadful.

I'm thinking that a more expensive 'beach' holiday like Mark Warner, that involves some part with childcare clubs will actually be the best all round. Kiddy club in the mornings, they make little friends, parents have some time off to do stuff that actually makes a holiday, then you have family time in the afternoon by a pool where there's no sand to eat and lots of shade, eat together, then parents spend time together in the evening on their balcony - drinking wine and reading/chatting/whatever.

Or am I being a dullard?

Apples I think you nailed it.
It's all about expectations.

Expectations for what a 'holiday' means to you.

In a really basic way - for me it's not cooking or washing up (which rules out self catering), being able to walk a lot (ideally with ace views), seeing some cultural type sights (not loads, maybe 1 or 2 days in a week), and doing lots of swimming in pools or in the sea. Maybe some other water sport options like kayaking or sailing, but that's not essential.

I'm not actually that keen on just sitting around and sunbathing. Ideally in fact I'd like to go somewhere not too hot.

We went on holiday when DS was 8 months, but unfortunately it wasn't as easy an experience as most people on here have described. It was just a low key UK cottage break, so designed to be as easy as possible but DS had other ideas. Despite sleeping really well for the couple of weeks before we went away, he slept terribly - took ages to get to sleep and would wake up crying as soon as I put him down. Then woke several times a night, and again was really difficult to resettle. I had to cosleep with him (often holding him) with DH in the other room. We went to bed at 9.30pm as we were so exhausted. On days out, he refused the pram and the sling - wanted to be carried in our arms all the time.

We were happy to come home at the end of it. It wasn't awful, we did have good times too, but let's just say I was happy we didn't spend a lot of money. After that experience, I have pretty much decided to just do cheap UK breaks until primary school age. Having said that, I am tempted by some of the tales above! But not beach-type holidays - neither DH or I are great in hot weather anyway.

Time - surely he could have continued refusing pram and sling at home also though?

Coffee1981 - yes! We were about 5 min from the beach and crab shack, and went there each day plus the Botanical Gardens and a few other places, but what made it really relaxing was it was possible to have a leisurely morning with breakfast and long showers as the boys were having a great time re-arranging pebbles outside, kicking a ball, or climbing up and down two flights of stairs and hiding in wardrobes. Ditto after going out for much of the day, they could have "their" den or food while we all opened the wine and heated up a meal from the deli down the road or someone went out for fish and chips.

Extra adults helped too - even had an evening where DP and I went out for dinner while SIL and friends babysat.

Knowing it was only going to be 3 hours door to door to get home helped too. Recently had first trip abroad with dd and ds and really happy to avoid large airports!
BIL and family go to places like Mauritius with their kids and tbh I'd pay not to! Yes, lovely once there I'm sure, but a 5 and 2yo on a long flight sure isn't my idea of fun.

Ds is 3.5 weekends in Devon are the furthest he's gone so far he's terrible in the heat spending a fortune on a foreign holiday during which I will try to stop him from either burning or drowning doesn't appeal to me

I'm resigned to the fact that holidays with my children will not be relaxing or even predominantly enjoyable until they are able to act like considerate human beings. So maybe never

Seriously, I struggle. For me a holiday is about having options to choose from that will not be snatched away from you on a whim (e.g. dining out - can't do it 'cos they're tired and acting up) or spoilt by the presence of a child who will not stop bloody whinging (e.g. a day-trip to a town or tourist site). I find disappointment hard to cope with at the best of times and so holidays (a time when I dare to hope that we might all enjoy ourselves and carefully make plans to allow this to happen) are like being repeatedly punched in the face.

Having said that, there are sometimes nice moments during them.

My child is great with people, will eat anything, is pretty relaxed with changes in circumstances, isn't really a crier etc, but is NOT a good sleeper. Every time we go away for even a couple of nights to in laws or a night to a friend's, I basically don't get any sleep. Christmas was hellish - three nights at inlaws, two nights at my parents... no (decent) sleep for basically a week. Before we went I was stressing about it, and told my MIL, who said a month or so later 'but it was all fine!!'. Yes, for everyone else, not for me... but of course no one saw me awake all night really, because they were passed out in drunken stupors!

goats I am in exactly the same position as you. My DC are brilliant fun and very social but sleep horrendously.

Art sure, he could have. But regardless it didn't make for a good day out either from home or when on holiday!

Holidays with little kids are not very relaxing. As long as you go in knowing this there is no reason not to go pretty much anywhere. My dd2 was a bad sleeper when we travelled but when I remember the holidays we took when she was 1 or 2 I just remember all the fun stuff we did. She is a lot better now she is 3.

Going away with parents can be good if they are helpful and willing to pitch in with the kids. My kids have always surprised me in their flexibility but all kids are different. When your baby is older you will learn what works for your family.

Having decided to pretty much stay home this year, we're now debating Thailand for easter. Been lots of times before, always sort of wing it but would plan this time. She'd be 18 months, which might be REALLY shit for a long haul flight. But decent hotels in Europe at easter are mucho expensive, cheaper to go to Thailand.

Dh and i did lots of travelling pre-children and decided that having them wasn't going to change us. We weren't and still aren't beach people so i'd be bored stupid at a beach resort.

We decided that childcare on holiday wasn't for us. Instead we've taken family adventure holidays, been trekking/biking with them and have had long haul holidays too.

It's easier now they're 13 & 10 but they've always taken everything in their stride and are both really good at trying new foods and falling asleep in strange places.

We went to Japan when DS was 22 months old and the flight wasn't so bad though i had booked him a seat. Just check the flight times and try an get a long overnight sector. We changed in the Middle East and i managed to keep both DC awake until the stopever, then they slept during the second flight.