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Parenting

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Original poster

Where should boy and girl friends stay?

20 replies

useby1oct · 29/06/2015 15:38

My 21 and 22 year olds are bring their boy and girl friends home. Each wants their friend to stay in their bedroom.

waht do people think about this

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willconcern · 29/06/2015 15:40

at 21 and 22? In their bedrooms. They are all adults.

toofarfromcivilisation · 29/06/2015 15:41

We had this a few years ago on a family holiday. Eventually my 85 year old Mum was the voice of reason & said they should share. They were 19 & 24.

chumbler · 29/06/2015 15:49

of course they should share!

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IHaveBrilloHair · 29/06/2015 15:50

Together

Azquilith · 29/06/2015 16:01

Um, together. They are grown ups. Unless you're like my DM and won't have my DP in the house overnight despite the fact we've got a DS and I'm 31 and thus we don't see her a lot any more.

Theas18 · 29/06/2015 16:04

THought you would say they were 15!

THey are adults. Together of course :)

catsrus · 29/06/2015 16:05

They're adults - they sleep where they would like to sleep. I asked my 20yr old dd where she wanted her bf to sleep when he came the first time, her room or spare room. She said her room so that's where he went. Don't make it into a big deal.

AliMonkey · 29/06/2015 16:09

I don't necessarily agree with PPs. They live in your house so have to live by your rules. If you aren't comfortable with them sharing then you tell them they can't. If you are comfortable then fine, let them.

cavkc · 29/06/2015 16:25

The first time is the worst

CatsCantTwerk · 29/06/2015 16:26

I thought you meant teenagers. They are adults!

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 29/06/2015 16:31

I allow boy/girlfriends to stay over. DP and I are not married, so it would be hypocritical for us to say otherwise

As cavk says, though, the first time is the worst.

Young teens, no - there have to be boundaries, but late teens/young adulthood - they need their own space, definitely, as they can't afford their own homes yet, and need somewhere safe and secure!

I'd prefer them to be under my roof than in some dark and dingy alleyway or back of a car. At least I get to meet the guest!

GinUpGirl · 29/06/2015 16:36

In their partner's beds. Obviously.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 29/06/2015 16:42

And sometimes, friends stay over who are not boyfriend or girlfriend. They are just friends who 'crash' because they've had too much to drink, or may have had an argument with their own parents and need somewhere to stay.

There are some weekend mornings when I wake up and don't have a clue who I might be bumping into. Occasionally, five or six people in one bedroom. Nothing 'romantic' going on, they just needed a safe place to sleep. And that's fine.

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 29/06/2015 19:26

Together. They're 21 and 22 FGS.

Roseybee10 · 29/06/2015 20:56

At that age together!!
My mum never allowed hubby to stay in my room, even once we were engaged when I was 21! It caused a lot of friction between us all and I wouldn't say we ever really recovered from it.
16/17 I would say no but over 20 I think definitely.
Especially if they pay digs for their room tbh.

Original poster

useby1oct · 30/06/2015 14:46

Thanks folks. Some interesting comments. As people say they are all adults. I was initially resistant to the idea of them sharing (but, it may be because we had our children at a older rather than younger). I think I'll let them share it's no big deal in the long run.

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Original poster

useby1oct · 30/06/2015 14:46

er ... none of my children contribute to family economy!

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seaweed123 · 30/06/2015 15:44

I think it does depend a bit on circumstance... DH and I had bought a flat together by that age, so sleeping separately would have been ridiculous. But I wouldn't be quite so happy about a DC bringing some random person back from a night out, and then sneaking them out the door the next morning. It's not really to do with age.

GinUpGirl · 30/06/2015 15:46

Agree seaweed. A relationship is very different (you want to treat the partner like family) from treating the family home like a cheap hotel. Nobody was suggesting that though.

MrsCK · 30/06/2015 22:47

I met my DH when I was 14 so it was a bit of a strange situation in terms of where he would stay. He was never allowed in my bed and had to stay downstairs iirc on a sofa bed. Then we went to uni and it must've been around then that we were allowed in the same bed. but to be honest it was a single bed so we just kept the same arrangements going! we've just had DC1 and my parents have bought us a double bed to go in my old bedroom at home...so I suppose really I was 27 when he first properly stayed in my bed! His parents were more relaxed probably due to space restrictions. we shared a bed from the age of 17 at his house. again, a single bed and not much fun especially when we both love our sleep so much!

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