my dd will not poo in the toilet

[lollypop2]

Anyone got any advice for me! My dd is 3 1/2 years old and has been fine going to the toilet for wee's for nearly a year now but will not do a poo on the toilet, she absolutely refuses. I have to put a nappy on her and she then goes off into another room on her own and does it in her nappy. I know she can do it if she wanted to but she just won't! Can anyone out there help, its doing my head in!

Had exactly the same prob with my DS. Weeing fine, hardly any accidents after potty training at 2.5, but kept going off into the study to poo his pants. He came good in the end at about your DDs age but it was after lots of praising, star charts etc and in the end it was a big reward of going on holiday = the 'you won't be going on holiday unless you can poo in the toilet' mantra uttered regularly for some weeks prior.

You have my sympathies!

I kept DS in pants tho (bought loads of cheapies at Tesco etc and chucked the stinkier ones that couldn't face washing). Perhaps try this with your DD because she won't have the same sensation as pooing in a nappy and she will prefer to go to the loo with time? Also star charts, rewards etc

HTH

i have exactly the same problem with my dd. Wees are fine, and have been since about June but she absolutely refuses to go in the toilet or potty. i tried being strict and refusing her a nappy to begin with but we ended up at the doctors as she was constipated and in pain. dont want that again, so am trying to be relaxed about it and using gentle suggestion every now and then. I think she would just hold it in if i said she has to do one in her pants. dont know what to do really. i made her up a sticker chart but cant even get her to sit on the toilet with her pull up pants on. any suggestions welcome.

Thanks for your advice but I've tried everything, sticker charts, trips out etc. even resorted to presents and sweets which I vowed I would never do. She goes along with it, sits on the toilet and proudly tells me she has done a poo and can she have her sweet/present/book etc now but there is nothing there!!! She just wont do a poo on the toilet. I'm worried cos she will be starting school next year and will have to be able to do it by then as the teacher's are not allowed to help them in the toilet. I've tried putting her in pants only but like you're daughter, Miss Lily, she holds it and gets constipated then...nightmare! When we're out and about she will happily poo her pants but I have a 7 month old dd as well and just haven't got the time or the patience to be changing pooey pants! the so-called 'professionals' say its common and not to worry about it but I really think she has a psychological problem with it. I know she can do it if she wanted to she just won't!

Lollypop, your dd sounds just like mine was! It took her nearly 18 months to poo in the toilet after she was out of nappies - she was terrified of the whole idea and would become hysterical and scream the place down if we even suggested using the toilet.

She would only ever poo in a nappy, always at the same time of day, and always in the same place (nowhere near the toilet!). Allowing her to have a nappy made her more relaxed about things, and prevented the constipation and pain issue.

Would you be happy to give her a nappy to poo in if she asks for one? It would take the pressure off all of you, and maybe allow her to relax enough to try the toilet.

It helps to see training for wee and for poo as two separate processes - the fact that she is ready to wee in the toile doesn't automatically mean that he's ready to poo in the toilet. If she isn't emotionally ready then there's no point in forcing it.

Yes you are definitely right wigwambam and just carry on with giving her a nappy to poo in. It took about 6 months for her to actually ask for a nappy to poo in, before she would just poo, so I guess that is progress. Its just really hard and to be honest, embarassing, when I'm out with friends and she asks me for a nappy to do a poo, when there's children much younger than her that are potty trained. I don't compare her to other children but I guess I just can't understand it as she doesn't seem afraid of the toilet in anyway. Kids just always manage to get the upper hand with their parents don't they!

I'm sure you will just have to be patient - she won't still be asking for a nappy to poo in at 12!