Feelin stressed and guilty over 6 week old's crying

[Electroswing]

DD spends part of every day crying for no reason that I can tell. It escalates up to raw-throated screaming, and the only thing I can do to stop it is VERY vigorous bouncing along with playing music which has a heavy beat. If I'm out there's virtually nothing I can do. Today she woke from sleeping in her pram when I was twenty minutes' walk from home and started absolutely screaming, though I'd fed her before I left. A nappy change made no difference. I managed to get her to go back to sleep in the baby carrier strapped to me, but only after a long period of full-on screaming, passers-by looking and commenting etc.

At the moment she seems to be a bit 'off' a lot of the time - she'll spend fifteen minutes or so looking at something, or cooing and smiling in response to me, which is absolutely lovely, but then the grizzling will start, and I dodge from thing to thing trying to find what she wants and not managing it. It's like her normal state is grizzling, and I'm just distracting her from it for a moment or so. She doesn't seem to need comfort from me, as she struggles and kicks when I pick her up, and only stops crying in response to bouncing and noise. It's getting me down, especially because I often end up feeling angry and frustrated, particularly when I'm out in public and I just can't do anything to help I don't want to be angry with her, she's only tiny and I know she's distressed for some reason. It's just that when she's screaming her lungs out in the street, I feel like there's a big neon arrow pointing at me saying 'Look! Look at this! Something going wrong over here!' I feel like a bad mother.

I'm pretty sure it's not colic, as she's very good after about 8pm and sleeps (bar feeds) from 11-6ish. Plus it doesn't come on after feeds. She's EBF and in the 75th centile for weight, doing just fine putting it on.

Is this normal? Are some babies just unsettled for a bit? Do they calm down? Could use some help

I remember my dd being similar at that age. A stretchy wrap really helped, as well as white noise (you can download an app). I know you said she didn't like the sling but is preserver. Google sling library and visit one if there's one local to you. You can try out different slings and wraps and hire them. You're dd may prefer a wrap to a sling.

Sounds a lot like my DS and I wrote a similar post myself. I've not read all the posts, but I've come to realise my DS would cry uncontrollably when overtired. He could only do about 45 mins awake time including feeds, nappy change and the time it took to settle him for a nap at 6 weeks. Sometimes he would wake up, feed and cry straight away as he was still so tired. Does your LO sleep enough during the day?

If I couldn't settle him to nap or stop his crying, I'd bung him in the carrier and jiggle him around until inevitably he fell asleep.

Weeks 6-8 is also when babies hit their peak for crying, many are going through growth spurts and developmental leaps too which leads to them being very unsettled.

However, at 7 and a half weeks my DS is like a different baby. Not as much crying, so much smilier and I'm starting to enjoy him now. Hang in there. It's perfectly normal and will get better.

Hi I would see your Dr just to check baby over as she is so young. Even if its not colic maybe baby needs a different milk? There is a product that is like a coffee machine. It heats it up as you need the milk to breastmilk temp within so many secs so avoids them waiting & so getting unsettled. I have no idea how much or who makes it, heard of it through friends. Good luck I'm sure your set your mind at rest to see gp

Sounds like reflux to me. Both mine had it - the behaviour you describe when feeding is classic symptoms. Don't worry - it's not serious but it does cause them discomfort. Have a word with your Dr and try some infant Gaviscon ( you have to get it on prescription) and see how you get on with that. Good luck.

Try colief.

Sympathies. This will get better. You're still in the worst bit of newborn phase. Try and enjoy them being so small to offset the bone-tiredness plus constant feeding and crying.

Ok do try and investigate reflux etc but as a parent of two bigger babies I'm guessing yours is just hungry. She's sleeping through quite well but needs feeding up in the day.

At 6 weeks I'd be parking myself at home a lot of the time and feeding feeding feeding (whilst watching box sets!). If you want to get out feed there as well. I solved most of the crying by feeding. I was cried at a lot less by ds2 because I just accepted that for about 3-4 months it'd be one long growth spurt. I didn't expect to leave the house much (I did but you have to with an older one). I was very relaxed because I knew that soon enough I'd not be able to chill around my child for a good few years!!

Thanks everyone, there are some great ideas here. I think you may be right about the hunger - we were out at a family do yesterday and as I was drinking I gave DD bottles of expressed milk, and she took 2 120ml bottles at the same interval as her normal feeds. She was good as gold all day - partly all the extra people bouncing her, but I think also she just got LOTS of milk. I'm now spending more time feeding, waking her up if she falls asleep and offering the other breast. She does take more.
Sleep-wise I hadn't realised there was such a small interval for activity before they need to sleep again. She sleeps lots in the day, but I do try to encourage active periods because I want her to continue sleeping at night. Maybe I'm pushing her too far.
I'm seeing the gp this week for our 6 week appt so will talk to him about reflux/colic.
To all those who sympathised, thank you so much! I really hope it will get better with a combination of the above and also DD just getting older and more developed.

Thank you thank you thank you those of you who suggested that DD might be tired. Someone also mentioned that babies follow a pattern roughly of eat-activity-sleep - fantastic advice. Things are much better now I have started to respond to the crying by getting her to go down for a nap. I just didn't realise that what looks like boredom or frustration was actually tiredness. She can do about 45 minutes or an hour of awake time after a feed, and then need to have a little sleep. She is much much better and I feel much more confident in responding to her needs.

The crying is much less frequent and the doctor has said that he doesn't think she has reflux, so I am much happier.

Cheers for all the advice, it was all really useful

Glad the advice helped you. Out of interest what do you do to get her to sleep. Ds seems want to so eat activity eat sleep, which means feeding a lot. Apart from feeding the only other way of trying to get him to nap is moving in buggy or car, which doesn't always work and isn't always practical!

I'm so glad :) my life changed when I realised how much DS needed to sleep and I really really put the effort into making him sleep after a short wake time. Until he was 5 months old he really couldn't handle more than 90 mins awake!

MrsD, anything involving movement and rhythmic noise gets her to sleep - walking round in the pram, putting her in her bouncy baby chair and bouncing it, sticking her in the sling or baby carrier and dancing to music or doing bouncy walking. White noise helps her to stay asleep. She won't go off to sleep or stay under when it's silent, apart from at night. Oddly, loud music helps her to go to sleep. Anything with a nice heavy bass beat.

Sometimes she won't do it though, we still have grumpy times. Sometimes the opposite, like today when she's been asleep since 11 and I've only managed to wake her for a 10 minute feed before she's dead to the world again. Strange creature.