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Could do with some advice about this please

4 replies

saltire · 16/11/2006 11:14

OK, firstly, i am not out to upset anyone, apologies in advance if anyone is upset by what i write.

Today, just before the bell rang, DS2 was kicked in the head whilst playing , by a child with SN. I took him into the office and they gace him an ice-pack. They asked if he was ok to go to class and he said yes. On the way out there were 2 other children from Ds2s class, one covered from head to toe - he had been pushed ionto the mud by the same child, and another who had a big scratch down his face, again by the same child.
The SN child, who i will call A, was playing and his mum, who usually brings him in at the last minute was chatting, so i don't know if she seen what happened.
Anyway, half and hour ago i got a call to go to school and pick up DS2 as he was becoming very upset, and hadn't wanted to go out at break time. Got him home and he told me that the headmaster had spoken to him and the 2 other boys.
he had told them that "child A couldn't help hitting and punching other children, that he didn't know that it was wrong, and that anyway they should have been with their parents as the school wasn't responsible for them until the bell rang".
I feel quite upset by this, as he has, in my opinion, made DS2 and the others to be at fault here, and has made them feel that its ok for child A to whatever he likes. this isn't the first incident with this child. He is in Ds1 class, and three weeks ago DS1 came home with a bright red mark all round his neck. on questioning him, he told me they had been sitting on the rug in class and Child A had jumped on him and tried to strangle him and the teachers had struggled to get child A off my DS1.
"But it's ok mum because child A can't help it" is what he said.
On Tuesday child A had a wee girl in the line in a grip round her neck and wasn't letting go. normally his mum brings him to the front of the line and stands with him until the class go in, where he is handed over to his SN worker. On this occasion she was chatting to someone in the playground. Another mum tried to get child A off this girl and he started screaming really loudly, still almost choking this girl, and his mum came over. She told the other woman that she had scared child A, and that he screamed likethat when he got scared, and would thiink he was doing something wrong.

Anyway, i feel i want to say something to the head about what he told DS2, but i am not sure how to broach the subject in a tactful way.
Any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:
wishingchair · 16/11/2006 11:28

Hmmm. I have no experience of SN at all but I would imagine that if the child truly has no appreciation of right and wrong and has a tendency towards violence, then he needs to be supervised all the time.

It sounds like the issue here is the mother and SN worker's lack of supervision. It isn't your responsibility to make sure someone else's child doesn't attack yours.

I would certainly talk to the head. Not in an accusing way but that I would want some assurances that the boy's mother would be spoken to and made aware of the need for adequate supervision. I'd also say I was unhappy that ds feels he was blamed for it. Regardless of the SN situation, the school has a responsibility to make your child feel safe and secure and not be bullied. Those responsibilities don't go away because the child in question has SN ...

louii · 16/11/2006 11:30

The safety of the other children is just as important.
If the mother and teachers are unable to keep a proper eye on this child then something has to be done.
If the child does not realise that his behaviour is unaceptable then he should under no circumstances be given the oppportunity to be able to hurt other kids.
This is the schools responsibility and your poor wee boy should not feel afraid to go to school etc.

You shouldnt have to be "tactful" just tell them it is unacceptable.

Lou

saltire · 16/11/2006 11:59

Thanks for your replies.
DS2 is complaining of a headache so have made an appointment to see GP later.
I have made an appointment to see head on Monday, he can't see me after school and tomorrow the school is shut.
I still feel quite upset, but have calmed down a bit now that i have posted. its probably just as well, as i can go off on a tangent when i am angry or upset, especially where the Ds are concerned.
I will see what he has to say

OP posts:
louii · 16/11/2006 14:37

Saltire, I guess with that name you are Scottish??

Dont let headmaster fob you off, get it sorted!

Regards

Lou

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