DD was a complete little mare this morning getting ready for school so I removed her "treat" from her lunchbox.

[sandyballs]

I didn't tell her (although I have threatened this before without doing it). Now that I've calmed down and am at work with a coffee ,
I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do as she will be having lunch with her sister who has still got her treat (it's only an oat cereal bar but very important to them!).

I just remember reading/hearing somewhere that punishments should be instant and this obviously isn't. Will she even realise that the missing bar is linked to her bad behaviour?

She refused to get dress, kept shouting "no" at me, dancing round her bedroom naked, then blowing raspberries at me as I got crosser and crosser. I decided to completely ignore her and focus on her sister who had got dressed so I made a huge fuss of her and eventually the stroppy one got fed up of stropping and quietly came downstairs and got dressed, so I was pleased that this new calmer ignoring tactic had worked. She then said to me "Aren't I good mummy, haven't I done well, I'm dressed". So I said "No you haven't done well, it took you far too long and with too much aggro and hassle", she then filled up with tears and said "Well I'm very sad now".

God this is an essay, it'll so blooming hard this parenting lark isn't it and to think DH wants another, no no way.

I probably would have done the same. But I think your ignoring tactic had already had results so probably the removal of the treat was OTT.

If you do it - I think you should make sure she is aware of it at the time - otherwise as you say - it is not immediate and linked to the "crime".

Why do kids wind us up so much - what is the evolutionary advantage of driving your parents to distraction ?

THanks. I think you're right, the ignoring was the punishment. I don't know why I over-analyse all these things.