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Original poster

Getting rid of the dummy at 2.5

13 replies

Strawberrybubblegum · 14/06/2015 22:38

We're thinking about getting rid of the dummy for DD, and I'm dreading it. She mostly has it for sleeping, but we do let it slide sometimes when she's unwell or miserable. She really, really loves it and does depend on it a lot.

The thing is, I've noticed that her teeth have started being pushed out of alignment, so we really need to do this now Sad

Does anyone have any tips for making this easier? Is it worth trying the dummy fairy, or is she too young? I'd say her language and understanding are average for her age, and I think she'd understand it partially but not really 'get' it.

Also several of our friends have just had babies and I'm a bit worried that she might resent those babies if I say the dummy fairy is taking her dummy for new babies who need them! Not having her dummy is certainly going to upset her a lot, and she's quite sensitive: I really don't want her to have aversion therapy for those babies! Has anyone experienced that, or am I over thinking? Confused

She's a very empathic little thing, and will often get upset if a baby is crying and tell me he needs a dummy, and/or she'll go to find his mother... but I'm not sure it would extend to giving up her own dummy!

Or would it be better just to say one night that we're not having dummies, and say it with conviction as a new rule? She's generally fairly adaptable and wants to please... But not getting her dummy is one of the few things that can get her absolutely beside herself.

Oh god, it brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. This is going to be utterly hellish, isn't it?

Any advice or support very much appreciated.

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Original poster
Strawberrybubblegum · 14/06/2015 22:44

Also, I'm certain that no gift would be enough for her to voluntarily give up her dummy, so I'd have to present the dummy fairy idea as something that is going to happen, not something she chooses when she's ready for it.

Does that still work, or will it just worry her more because someone is coming and taking her dummies?

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JillBYeats · 14/06/2015 22:52

Put a hole in the dummy - it loses its suckiness.

One of mine got sick for the first time at about 2.5 and blamed it (with a little help) on his dummy - wouldn't look at it after so that was easy. On the other hand another of mine was utterly addicted and kept hers til after 6 and even then could have done with it for another few months/years! It has not harmed her teeth although she does have braces (teenage now) but then so do almost all of her friends. I never bothered too much about it - if it gives them comfort then why the hell not just leave it be (it used to infuriate me that strangers - or not - would feel the need to comment directly to my children about their dummy use: butt the F out!!!). My addict just loved when she got a bit older to disappear upstairs for a little "time-out" ie a dummy time (they - because there were always several on the go - were confined to her bed) and she'd come back down afterwards all chilled and ready to deal with the rest of the day. I would have them plated in gold for all the comfort they gave my DC.

JillBYeats · 14/06/2015 22:54

PS My addict never bought the dodie fairy or dodies for new baby mullarkey - she's very airy-fairy at times but when it came to her dodie the fairy and new babies could whistle!

Another friend's child had a sore throat and she blamed the dummy - maybe it's a case of waiting for the next opportunity like that?

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Original poster
Strawberrybubblegum · 14/06/2015 23:12

Ah, Jill - you're making me doubt myself about getting rid of it! Your addict sounds very like my DD! DD definitely uses her dummy to calm down and deal with the day. And she's been known to claim to be tired during the day asked to go to bed (where she has her dummy) then 10 minutes later be all awake and desperate to get up Grin

I'm pretty sure her teeth are being pushed out though. Maybe that depends on the child (DD has lip tie, and a gap between her front teeth - which I think looks very sweet, but might make her more susceptible). I think I'll take her to the dentist to get it checked.

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Roseybee10 · 15/06/2015 13:01

My dd loved hers but one night I couldn't find one and just never gave her it and she never asked for it again. She was just under 2.

Personally I think it's a good idea to try and get rid of it earlier rather than later as its really not good for their teeth or speech if they keep it too late.

MsJuniper · 15/06/2015 22:48

My DS is 2.7 and similar with his dummy, has it for sleep and poorly times (although sometimes claims he is sleepy if he wants it during the day). I think he sensed we were trying to phase it out and got even more fixated with it, so we have relaxed for now until we do it properly (around 3). So my only thought would be not to do it half-heartedly.

Siennasun · 16/06/2015 21:03

I could have written your post OP.
Last week I just decided to get rid of the dummy. I said to DS (2.5) dummies are for babies and he's a big boy now. The first night he shouted about his dummy for ages. Since then he's hardly mentioned it.
I thought this would be a long drawn out trauma for everyone involved. I am, frankly, amazed by how easy it has been.
Good luck!

imwithspud · 16/06/2015 22:16

When we got rid of DD's dummy at around 2 and 4 months we simply took it away cold turkey, we warned her before hand what was going to happen obviously. She whined a bit for it on the first and second night but there were no tears at all and she was fine after that. It was a really easy ride for us but we were probably lucky. I do think cold turkey is the way to go though, they get over things so quickly at this age - in a matter of days the dummy will be a distant memory.

Baffled2012 · 17/06/2015 00:14

My DS is just about to turn 2 & a half and has his dummy about 70% of the day and all through the night. My OH has been on about him giving it up but he is very sensitive & shy & gets great comfort from it so I am hesitant. I have a DD who is 7 months & has a dummy so not sure how he would cope with a dummy ban when she has one. He already borrows hers if he can't find any of his. DS's teeth are a bit gappy but I didn't think that was because of the dummy. Is there proof that they damage tooth alignment?

Original poster
Strawberrybubblegum · 17/06/2015 23:25

It's good to hear that some people have found it easier than expected at this age!

juniper that seems good advice to be fully committed when we finally go for it. DD can sniff out weakness! Unfortunately, I do feel quite conflicted about taking it from her. Sad

spud how much in advance did you warn your DD? I'm really not sure how to do that. If we tell her we're going to take it away, I'm not sure she'll hand it over! But I do feel mean taking it away without allowing her a last suck..

Baffled, people have different opinions on whether dummies cause damage. I do think DD's teeth are being affected, kind of pushed diagonally so the tips aren't level with the ground, if that makes sense. I don't think a dummy causes gappiness (someone here might tell me I'm wrong about that!) In DD's case, the gappiness is caused by lip tie - where a band of skin goes from the inside of the lip round to the back of the gum. It's quite common and usually sorts itself out by itself from what I understand. I can imagine it's really hard to cut back your son's dummy use if your youngest has one! Do you think he'd accept a ban on using hers first, then only reduce access to his own once that habit is established? I don't really see how you can do it otherwise!

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Baffled2012 · 18/06/2015 00:55

Hey Strawberry
Let me know if anything works for you and your daughter. Good luck.
I'm thinking of leaving it till he starts nursery after Christmas (he will be three by then) by saying they won't allow them as they are for babies....or something! Haven't quite thought about what reason exactly.

Levismum · 18/06/2015 01:07

Hi.

The description of urgency dd teeth is exactly how 2 of my dc teeth were/ are.

Ds7 was treated at East man's Dental hospital as he also had extra teeth (might be worth getting a dentist to do some X rays). The dental hospital told me the dummy wouldn't have made much difference.

dd is 16 months & I'm starting to limit her dummy. She has a lip tie & gappy teeth so my aim is to get the dummy down to just bedtimes within the next 2 months.

Good luck, hope it goes smoothly for you & your dd.

TryingtobePrepared · 19/06/2015 22:02

I'm with the folk who said it was easier than expected. We did lots of prep but not about little babies needing them to be on the safe side, more about being a big girl etc father Christmas took the dummies and left a present. Think picking a day where they'll be busy and properly tired helps. Also when I chucked dummies I cut them up so I couldn't waver. Good luck

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