I just lost it...

[bethatasitmay]

... And full on shouted at my 15 month old. New low.

She's just so trying sometimes. Two hours of going back and forth from bed trying to put her down for a nap with her alternately screaming to play and stand up and then burying her head in my shoulder sobbing because she's so tired.

Eventually I had to pretty much force her into it - and she was shattered. She's going to hate me when she wakes up.

God,I'm the worst mother ever.

No you aren't. You tried everything, you were trying to do the best thing for her (letting her nap) and you didn't resort to violence.
We have all been in your shoes and all shouted at our kids its sometimes how they learn we mean business!

No, you're not, I am

I shouted at DD waaaaaaay before 15mo. I mean, like 15 WEEKS. Don't you try and steal my snazzy Worst Mother Crown now.

Well.
If that's the 1st time you have lost it, then bloody well done.

I stomped away from my 2 year old Today as he casually and liberally walked amongst my clean drying washing on the line smearing his mini milk ice lolly all over each item.
Seething I was.

But there was a chocolate bar, SO I had a chunk to calm my frayed nerves.

She won't remember! They're very forgiving things these little children. Plus it helps they have memories like goldfishes! Be kind to yourself

Thanks everyone. I just don't understand why everything sometimes feels like some sort of power play. Like she's trying to prove to me that I can't make her sleep. Or eat. Or sit in her buggy. It's like... I get it, DD, you're the boss! -bangs head against wall in frustration- I thought it was meant to be the terrible twos, not one and a halves...

You can't make her sleep. She's like a cat, she'll do her own thing. She is your mistress, you are her adult minion. Once she's tall enough to open the fridge, she won't need you at all, and you can retire.

I also have a recalcitrant owner, whose sleep function is on the blink.

They're little nightmares at this age. My ds is 18 months and pushes me to the bloody limit some days. On Tuesday he whined and tantrummed for 8 sodding hours. Absolutely nothing I did was in any way acceptable. When his Dad came home (who, by the way can do no wrong)and asked how he'd been I said "He's been a little shit, get him out of my sight" . All. Time. Low.

Do you remember that time your mum shouted at you when you were 15 months old? No? Neither will your dd!

I found 15 months much more difficult than now Ds is 2.5yo.

At 15mo he sounded just like your DD, op. They are just unreasonable and stroppy at that age!

Now - at 2.5yo - DS does have tantrums but more often than not I can head them off with some clever reasoning/bargaining/bribery. And he just seems much happier now he has a bit more control over his own life and can speak to tell me what's bothering him.

Also - as they get older they just don't need as much sleep during the day at all. So if you have a nap-fighter this will get to be less of an issue as the months roll by.

DS usually has 40 mins after lunch these days but can manage equally well without it. Which means it doesn't stress me out any more: I put him in his bed for "a rest". If he goes to sleep: bonus! I watch a West Wing and have a cuppa in peace.

If he doesn't: no worries: I bath him at 6pm that night, he is asleep by 6.45pm, sleeps for 12 hours cos he is knackered and DH and I have a lovely long evening together :-)

Hang in there - I bet it gets a lot easier in the next few months.

From around 2yo DS has largely been delightful and j think language coupled with a decreasing need for daytime sleep which the little bugger always fought- were key.

Oh and you're not the worst mum in the world - I shouted at DS to SHUT UP when he was 4 months old after he had been colicky crying for frickin weeks. Most of us have bad shouty days. Cuddle her loads when she wakes up to make yourself feel better.

So on Wednesday it took me two hours to put her down for a nap, finally went to sleep at half one.

Today? Half nine in the morning, demanded a bottle, completely asleep in five minutes. What on earth?! She's messing with my head!!

Ah, poor you. I struggled with my second as he wasn't a regular napper, and I kind of depended on a set time each day to get my head together (ie. watch West Wing).

Just try not to think of it as power play, don't let it get personal. You're the grown up and they're a tiny small human being. They can't help it, but we can. (This may not help you, but it's what I repeat to myself throughout the day, and it helps me :) )