Baby bed time. Help please!

[ch1134]

Hi. I've seen plenty of threads about this for younger ones, but mine is not really a baby anymore and I could do with some advice.
I have always let my son, now 17mo, fall asleep in my arms. He always breastfed to sleep until we switched to a bottle but now he had a bottle, teeth cleaned and then... may drop off or may not.
Once or twice I've put him in his cot awake, but he just jumps up shouting 'hiya', and yells if I leave the room.
I think it's time I were able to leave him awake in his cot, as clearly we're creating a habit. We also have baby 2 on the way.
Any ideas? Am I an idiot for leaving it this long? Anyone else break this habit as late as us? Will he be ok?!
Thanks

You are not an idiot at all. Have a look at the No Cry Sleep Solution. It's not a quick fix but I think it will fit in with your parenting style. Congratulations on your pg too

What a lovely, helpful response. Buying it now!

I have the no cry sleep solution and it's brilliant loads of great gentle ideas to help with sleep. Good luck

Yes, it's a good book. You have to accept that at this age you are probably not going to be able to just pop him in the cot and say night, night, but it is absolutely doable. Good luck!

I've got The Gentle Sleep book and I really like it, somehow I found it easier to read than The No Cry Sleep Solution, but it's much the same gentle philosophy. Though they're not magic (my baby still doesn't sleep well) they do reassure you that your baby is normal!

Also recommend the no cry sleep solution book. However what cracked it for us was a 3 night stay with his gran.
We didn't realise she was going to do this but she essentially left DS to it after saying good night.
Barely any crying she says. When he came back he carried on the habit much to our delight. Every night and it's been 3 weeks now. Of course it's different if you're still BF but could your DP try and take charge of bedtimes for a few days?

Btw we needed to sort it urgently due to dc2 arriving. DS 20 months.

Thank you. That's very reassuring. Just waiting for the book to arrive now!

Firstly you are not rubbish! You did what worked at the time. Now it's not working and you want to change it and you're taking steps to do that. Parenthood is honestly just survival!! You do what works until it stops working for whatever reason. X

I had a similar issue with dd1. We tried lots of different things but the one that worked for us was rapid return.

We would leave her after night time routine and cuddles, awake in her cot. Then pop out. We would set the timer on phone and go back in after 3 mins, then 4 mins then 5 mins etc. mostly she just grumped and moaned but if she ever really cried properly we would go back in immediately.
When we went back in, we wouldn't pick her up but just pat her back and say night night in a calm voice.

I couldn't bear to leave her crying so it worked well for us as she was old enough to know we would come back if she needed us and really cried but after 2-3 nights she started to relax more and be happier going into her cot.
We tried things like pick up/put down but she got really wound up with that and I tried the whole staying in the room with her but she got mad because she could see me but not get to me, so she was actually calmer wit me not being in the room.

It's all about finding the right method for your baby. My dd2 hates being held to go to sleep (4 months) and prefers to go to sleep in her own space in her crib. I never managed this with dd1 until over a year. I think it's so down to the individual baby.