How should I have dealt with my 4yr (nearly 5yr) old DS being teased by older kids?

[Halfpint76]

Hi, I am looking to see how others would have handled this situation as my husband thinks I should have held back and just let it go.

DS, nearly 5, was playing with some children who live in our cul-de-sac (2 girls aged 7 and an older boy aged 10). He doesn't play with them very often but during last summer he played out on his bike, and at the swings, with one of the 7 yr old girls quite alot.

I had seen them all playing from my living room window and did feel they were maybe teasing him a bit, but my husband said to just leave it and said kids will be kids etc, so I did. Anyway, 15/20 mins later DS came in crying and was really upset saying that all 3 of them had been laughing at him. I admit he can be a very sensitive child and takes things to heart but because he was so upset I felt I had to speak to the children to explain that he was inside crying. The 7 yr admitted that they had said what my son accused them of so I just said they should all play nicely that they should remember that he is also that bit younger than them. I was firm but not too scary (I don't think!) I also feel, however, that my son needs to see me sticking up for him every now and again.

Anyway, my husband thinks we should have just let the situation be and not spoken to the other children. I'm beginning to think he might have been right.... but how do you help your child handle this kind of situation?

I handle these type of situations like a sledgehammer to a walnut!

I would have done exactly as you had done so OP. I too think it's important to show your children that you will always stand up for them (particularly at that young age) and my DS who is 5 is incredibly sensitive too. I just think it's important that he knows his mums always got his back.

The reason that I also do it is before I want the kids to know that he is not someone that they can get away with picking on. I always think that if they think they'll get in trouble then they won't bother!

My son had a bit of a problem when he started reception. I informed his teacher and told her that I will not tolerate any bullying behaviour and I also informed the mother of the child who was picking on mine too. No problems since.

I also had a safeguarding issue come up surrounding something my son said his father did back in December, I reported it to the school, police and the SS so that it could be thoroughly investigated.

I don't care if anyone thinks I'm over the top, I would never forgive myself if anything happened to my baby boy when all it required was me being on his side and protecting him.

I would have done the same

I wouldn't have let it slid at all. They upset him, so yeah, I would go and say something. You don't get away with making someone cry.

Kids do need to know how to handle little situations by themselves, such as fighting over a toy etc. because you are not always going to be there, but if someone is making upsetting remarks and belittling them, that is when you step in.

Thanks guy. Good to know I didn't overreact. Been thinking about it a lot and I AM glad I said something. He was upset about it and I think they needed know he was upset. Thanks!

I would have done what you did. But I would also acknowledge that they don't have to play with him, if they don't want to, but they do have to benignly tolerate his presence in communal areas (not in those words obviously).