Being the bad guy

[joanna1985]

I work pt and my OH is full time and is out f the house til 7 each night. We have a 1 and a 2 year old and I am finding them realllllllly stressful at the minute. seems like all I do is shout and be a stress head, never wanted to be that parent but I have become it :( when OH comes in the kids are all excited as I think they see him as the fun one and I'm the strict one. By the time he comes in I am so tired and stressed I find it hard to relax and play or whatever I just wanna get a break. Anyone else had this? I don't wanna be the baddie!!

Please dismiss if not for you but my first thought was could you maybe try a different approach to give to give yourself a break? I've only the one very 'lively' toddler and a partner who is away a lot so I know it's not the same but might help. My mum was always the disciplinarian and I didn't want to be like her so I've gone down the RIE parenting approach. Google Janet Lansbury, she's fab. It's all about being firm and setting boundaries but keeping your cool and being respectful. I find it really helpful to have read about a way to deal with things in advance, it's like I've got solutions to the the problems we might have that day so I can head them off before anyone gets really upset. It stops me getting stressed and shouting which in turn made me unhappy and feel like the bad guy.

Hi thank u GCalgsake I will give it a look. Yeah we had a chat this morn about it actually and we have said we need to be more consistent and OH said he thinks I'm trying to do too much and stressing mlyself out. Think I was trying to keep on top of washing and cleaning and stuff thinking it would make my life easier but it's actually made it tougher with the babies as im not having much time with them. I feel the same, my mum was really hard on me and I don't want my kids to be scared of me or to be always shouting at them!