About to have our 2nd, worried about my wife...

[Garnett]

We live in London a fair way from our parents, we have a 1 year old and decided to do NCT classes before he was born, pretty much on a whim.

They turned out to be invaluable, for the support network they provided for my wife. I work relatively long hours, and try to do my share when I'm home but for the rest of the day, my wife's alone, or would have been had it not been for the friends we made on the NCT.

Now most of them are back at work, and I'm worried that the 2nd baby is going to be really really tough.

Can anyone recommend any classes, or other venues/events/??? that might offer us a way to get in contact with nearby couples in the same boat?

The NCT was great for "first baby on way", but I'm struggling for anything for "2 under 2", or "No.2 arriving on the same day No.1 learns to walk" - (I know this is going to happen, and it will be an absolute nightmare to handle a toddler and a newborn).

Thanks a lot for any help/pointers/tips.

Should add: Although it's really so that my wife can make friends with other mums to spend time with during the weekdays, the classes need to be something we can do together.

I've just done an NCT refresher course for second time parents, to meet other couples at the same stage. I'd recommend it!

The NCT does run second timer classes for couples in most areas - have you had a look for them? I know people who have made good friends through them.

Our local sure start centre has been invaluable to me (I moved to a new area when DD was 20 months and I was eight months pregnant with DS). They do some groups and could signpost to others - and there is usually a mix of mums and dads. Also try your local library for rhyme time etc.
Good luck and congratulations!

I paid for a special NCT group in Islington for parents of 2nd baby. The meetings prebirth were aright, but post birth it was almost impossible for us to all meet up due to having two babies and all the various doctors appointments, other engagements to meet up. I think we managed it three times in all, before we all just gave up.

The best, by far, for us in London with two small ones, were 'stay and plays' run by Children Centres. The older child can toddle around whilst you tend to the baby or plonk them in a baby seat. All mums/dads look out for each other's children and as it is a confined environment it's safe. Going to local parks too (we were in Hackney) suited both little ones and a chance to chat to other parents.

Local Facebook parent/mum groups for making buddies or just recommendations for local baby and toddler groups/drop ins?

I agree with choccybear about Children's centres. Many of them out on a wide range of activities, and if they don't run them themselves, they will know where all the available groups are.

Oh wow. Sometimes Mumsnet really does surprise me. Expected to find replies about how something I'd written earlier proved I was a crap dad and husband!

Instead these are great. Thanks so much.

If you are keen to have a scheduled class then something like Monkey Music (or one of the local companies like Boppin Bunnies if in that area) would be good. Many classes are hard or impossible with two unless you have two adults (e.g. swimming, baby yoga). Also buggy runner type exercise classes if you have a double buggy (extra tough workout ).

Otherwise no. 2 can just tag along to toddler and stay and play for no. 1. Net mums has some good listing pages.

Firstly what a nice thought to do this and make sure your wife has a support network.

I'm on Mat leave with my second and am very lucky as lots of my friends are off on Maternity or work part time now and my mum has retired. We do bookbugs sessions and baby massage at our local library and mother and toddler groups which is good but I'm in Scotland so not sure if it's different up here x

Thanks Rosey, thanks to you I've found out that the two libraries nearest us offer offer a session a week each, so that's very helpful.

Penguin, I'm gonna have a look at those classes. Ideally I want to find something we can sign up for a few weekend mornings.

Really I just hope the weather's good. Like Choccy says above, if the weather's good, then I think the park will be a good bet, but I can see our 1yo running away, while the new one is bawling, and my wife getting fed up fast!

If you are after weekend classes then swimming might be a good bet. That's often at the weekend and you could take a child each. If your older one is just starting, they might even be able to be in the same class.

A lot of classes run more in the week - they are often run by mothers or fathers who want term time, weekday work. You might find weekend ones a bit limited.

What a thoughtful husband! Kudos.

Again with the above- of you want weekend stuff swimming might be good, several of my friends with two go and dad takes one and mum the other. Do you use slings at all, as often there are slingers meet ups on weekends! But I think a lot is geared to weekdays when dads are typically at work

Can I just second (third/fourth?!) that you are an amazingly thoughtful husband.
The libraries are a great place to start- we live in Camden but also go to the ones in Barnet- there's enough to keep you going almost everyday of the week. There's also weekend rhyme time in some places (kilburn library if that's any good?), and most of the council stuff is free (unlike Monkey Music which can be quite pricey).

There may be nct coffee mornings to meet other parents. Children's centres and often churches have playgroups that will be suitable for both dc. Music classes are also good for young babies and toddlers.