Omg the guilt

[youaremychocolatecake]

So I'm on holiday and I took the kids alone to the little baby pool (40cm deep) and under the shade because I wanted to keep them out of the afternoon sun. I don't know if I slightly lowered my guard because it was only a tiny pool, we were the only people there. My eldest was in the water splashing around and my 19mo was playing with a ball on the grass. Please don't judge me now but the lounger I was sat on collapsed a bit at the back so I turned my back to fix it, for seconds and I heard a shout. The little one had fallen in the pool. Between me seeing him and jumping in like a lunatic it could have only been seconds and I grabbed him, he spluttered and cried a bit and then was fine. I however have been crying for an hour and a half because a) I took my eyes off them b) what if?! And c) he was face down in the water and for a split second I really thought the worst. His little shoe was floating in the water and I just feel haunted and can't get the picture out of my head. Has anything similar ever happened to anyone else? Please tell me this sick feeling will pass feel the like absolute worst mum in the world

Poor you, that must have been a horrible shock. He's fine though, you're fine and you've learnt from it.

Dh drifted out to see on his back as a child as his parents were looking after the two older children, one each, they each thought the other parent had the youngest!!!

Sea not see. Doh.

It's easily done. Try not to dwell on it. However you would be best to keep an eye for the next day or two on case of secondary drowning.

Goodness, why should we judge you? We've all done this sort of thing. If anything, you should feel proud of yourself for dealing with it so quickly and effectively, rather than freezing in shock.

A few seconds underwater will not have done your dc any harm.

(It will no doubt have given you a few more white hairs!)

About two months ago I briefly turned my back on the pram while in the park with dd. There were lots of heavy shopping bags hanging on the handles, that combined with a sudden strong blast of wind and the fact we were on a hill made the pram roll slightly then fall forward so dd would have been flat on her face. Luckily there is a bar across the pram that stopped her face hitting the ground. She cried a bit from the shock but was physically fine.

I was physically shaking for ages after it happened. I cried and felt like the worst mum in the world. I thought I was over it but I'm actually getting teary now!

The point of my post is these things happen. I think every parent has a story like this. It doesn't make you a shit parent. You will feel better about it too I promise. It did take me a while to stop feeling awful but I don't really think of it anymore.

I went through all the what ifs too, but you could waste your life away what iffing things.

Happens to us all.

A very nasty shock, but please don't feel guilty. We've all made mistakes. I got off the bus with the pram front ways. The curb was unexpectedly low and dd almost fell out. Another friend crossed a busy road with her ds in a baby car seat. When she got across she realised he hadn't been strapped in.

Unmumsnet hugs. Ultimately your little ones were not harmed

Things happen and you were alert and present to deal with it quickly.

Something similar happened to me the other day. It's a feeling I never want to experience again. I cried for a while too but my ds was fine. Horrible shock xx

Like you said, it was seconds. I know something like this will consume you, but you know you did the right and he is fine.

My mum lost my sister on the beach, left my other sister indoors alone by accident. I went missing (shopping at 2) and my sister had a horrible experience when her son choked so I understand the dread you must have felt. You did the right thing. Don't feel guilty, these things can take seconds to happen but you took seconds to react.

Exactly the same thing happened to us on holiday, my little tot took her wings off that she was wearing at the time to be like her older sister who does not wear them, and she jumped in the pool (she has very thin arms but still we did not think she could yank them off) and I was getting a towel and just turned for a second, and when I looked back she was at the bottom of the pool. It is the most horrendous, sickening and terrifying feeling in the world.

I pulled her out, called a dr, and she was ultimately perfectly fine. I was in complete shock as you describe. I was sick and needed medical attention as well. It was awful. Lots of children do drown this way though every year and it is very dangerous, which is why you were and are still scared. I am too. It takes a split second doesn't it, and it does make you feel very fragile and afraid of losing them. It lives with you forever. I will never forget that day even though it was years and years ago now, and dd can swim perfectly well now, and I am still careful (abeit paranoid around water) It made us really committed to our dd learning to swim at a very young age, and she never went anywhere without one of the life jackets on which are impossible to take off for years afterwards. I would highly recommend one to any child under the age of six. They are completely excellent and will save lives.
I don't think you should blame yourself, these things happen, the important thing is that when they do, we are present, we act quickly and we save our children, and you did all three. Take confidence from the experience if you can, accidents happen, and it is fast thinking and a quick response which will decide the outcome. Take a first aid course if you feel the need to build up your confidence, get one of those jackets for your little one, and take him swimming so he does not develop any worries around water, and mostly well done for getting through it :)

Things like that happen to every parent, I'm sure of it! They can get in trouble very quickly, a few seconds!

The other week my 22mo DD fell down a few steps in the pursuit of her walker which I had placed half way up the stairs with her sitting at the bottom. I thought they'd be too far away for her to get but in the time it took me to turn around and grab the pram she'd climbed half the stairs, grabbed the walker and tumbled back down!

The sheer terror when I heard her falling and saw her at the bottom was awful! Thank god she was fine (if a bit shaken) because it could have been so much worse

But it did teach me to be vigilant ALL the time and never let her out of my sight anywhere near stairs.

The guilt will go away!