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Parenting

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Giving DD a healthy attitude to food and treats

5 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 25/05/2015 12:08

Do any mums of daughters have any good ideas about this?

I grew up with a very strict, controlling dad. He had very specific ideas about how women should look - slim, fit, natural. He constantly told us about his ideals.

When I was in late primary school, I put on some weight. I wasn't an obese child by any stretch, but pudgy. Nowadays it would probably scarcely be remarkable! The result was years of stopping my pocket money till I lost weight, withdrawing privileges that my slimmer sisters had, making me run around the block with him whilst he shouted at me to keep up, shouting at me whilst I ate ("stuffing your face again, are you?") and sneering when I dieted ("slimming, are we?").

I spent most of my teen years eating awful lo-cal ready meals, replacing meals with shakes, skipping meals, eating secretly, compulsively doing exercise videos and generally feeling shit about my body. At uni, I developed a raging eating disorder. When I look back, I feel sad and angry about how I was treated and the lasting effect it has had.

I want to avoid passing on these attitudes to DD but don't know how. I think one fundamental thing is not making food a reward or punishment. Also not insisting she finish everything on her plate. Modelling correct potion sizes.

Anything else? Has anyone else had similar issues and managed not to screw up their own daughters? :(

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IPityThePontipines · 25/05/2015 12:20

Revolting I'm so sorry you went through that. Agree with not making food a reward of punishment, though schools can often counteract this.

We also don't have "treat" foods, just everyday day foods and sometimes foods. Foods are put into those categories for reasons of building a healthy body/looking after your teeth. I don't mention weight. Hth.

RevoltingPeasant · 25/05/2015 14:11

Ponty that's a good, non judgemental way to put it - everyday v sometimes. I like that. Emphasising health not weight also important.

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MrsBojingles · 25/05/2015 19:30

Wow, I'm so sorry you went through that - how cruel and horrible!

I had a serious eating disorder when I was younger, so hoping to pick up some advice too! DD is 8 months at the moment so no advice, sorry!

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iWantToBeAlone · 25/05/2015 19:38

I'm sorry you went through that. How horrible. My dd is only 10 months so I can't advise based on experience, but as someone who has had quite disordered eating in the past I can tell you my plans.

Firstly, set a good example. Eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't talk about good and bad foods. Don't binge or starve. Don't obsess over how I look.

Secondly, like Pontipine said, don't have good or bad foods. All is healthy in moderation. Some things are bad for teeth so we don't eat as much, some things make you strong so we eat more of those etc. Talk about vitamins and minerals, not calories.

RevoltingPeasant · 25/05/2015 19:50

Really good advice.

I am trying consciously not to talk about my weight in front of DD. So as to develop a habit from day one, that I don't obsess about it in front of her.

I am finding it tough to eat healthily right now. I keep wanting to skip meals etc as finding it really difficult to bf and lose weight. I know that is not healthy though.

But she will be weaning soon and I want to make sure I'm instilling a healthy love of good food right from the off.

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