Will not going to nursery cause social problems for DD?

[usedtobeme39]

DD is 16mo and she doesn't go to nursery or childminder as her dad decided he wanted to quit his job so that he could be the SAHP when I went back to work.

Only problem is he doesn't really do much out of the house with her, no playgroups, no soft play - they go out for walks and to the shops, but that's pretty much it. They interact non stop while in the house, reading, play, etc. She just gets absolutely no interaction with other children or a chance to play independently away from one of us.

DD will be starting preschool just before her 3rd birthday which I think will be great, but would she be ok going straight into that setting and are we damaging her somehow by not having her interact with other children now?

At 16 months, they really don't play together. She'll be fine. Also: the point of preschool-nursery is to socialise children before they start school, and since you're planning on going to that, she's fine.

diploddy, I wasn't picking on you. It was your wording, the idea that soft play was the least any child should be offered. There are plenty of us who think that soft play is germ-ridden noise hell. Yes, most children will benefit from some social interaction with other children, but it doesn't have to be soft play. I was being tickled, not critical. I seriously never go to soft play. I do take ds to the library and various stay and play things. He's also not sociable at all.

Okay Grantaire. I don't particularly like soft play either but I dislike baby groups more! Maybe I'm the one who not very sociable

I have three dc and none of them went to nursery before three years old, when they started playgroup a few mornings a week.

Before then, they were at home with me, largely pottering/playing in the house or garden and doing the weekly shop!

We would do the odd group I suppose but I always felt that once they start school you are tied to a specific timetable. It was nice to have a bit of freedom pre-school, so I didn't like to commit to blocks of activities or groups.

They would mingle with other kids when I met mums for a cuppa or in the summer months playing outside under my supervision.

My eldest two are now at school and have settled great. I used to get comments from other mums about how nursery was so important socially and didn't I worry they weren't interacting with other kids. This was even when they were babies. A baby does not NEED nursery for development, that's rubbish.

I think it depends on the child. Some children are socially gregarious regardless of how they spend their time. Others are not naturally sociable and dealing with others is more of a learned skill. I think for the latter group not going to nursery then going straight to school would not be ideal. Socialising takes practice and nursery allows that.

I wouldn't go to tumble tots until she walks as she wouldn't get enough out of it, imo.

I don't think you need to sign up for lots of expensive classes. Why doesn't he start with the library story time/singing? Loads of Dads at mine. Then they can look at books together.

Also stay and plays: – I am an antisocial bitch quite a quiet person and rarely exchange more than small talk with other parents, but I like taking DS to them as they have a new atmosphere/environment for him and different toys and activities. And God knows I prefer he uses paint/glitter/glue at these rather than at home

There is "gymbabes" (you don't want to know what my I pad tried to change that to!) for tumble tots pre walking.

Tumble tots / gym babes is probably a good "starter" for a SAHD as it involves doing a (reasonably manly!) activity with the child rather than sitting round and chatting. There is a couple of dads or grandads at the the tumble tots I take ds to.

In time it will be useful for her to go to a more "free flow" type activity as before she starts pre school it is useful if she can take turns, learn that other children are fun, learn to deal with a child that doesn't take turns, follow instructions as part of a group ("let all sit on the carpet now and listen to the story") even when it doesn't suit her, queue up for something etc.

No matter how good dad is he isn't going to insist on getting his share of time with the blue plastic spade!