Co-sleeping reservations (despite the fact I've been doing it for 4 months!!)

[Totality22]

Hi all,

Sorry I should probably use the search facility but I am pressed for time.

GP has put the fear of God into me about co-sleeping and I am now thinking I need to have baby in a separate cot (something that can attach to bed though)

I didn't co-sleep with older DC until he was 1+ (illness / hospital stay prompted it) but this time baby is in with me. We sleep as recommended, and currently OH is in other room as a) we have normal double and b) he isn't entirely comfortable with co-sleeping He is 100% happy in short term to sleep in this way - my thread isn't about that

My question is firstly should I continue to co-sleep? I do enjoy it, I am ebf and I do feel I am being as safe as possible but now I have started to research it a bit more I am freaking out.

What to do?

As long as you do it safely then carry on if you want to. I'm ebf dc2 and unlike with my ff dc1, I barely need to wake up to feed because we're co sleeping.

In contrast my GP recommended co-sleeping when my DS was 11 days old and lectured me about how did I think babies slept when we were cave people, and were we really the only mammals who were meant to sleep apart from their young!

You need to make your own choices, but my example just shows you how different the advice you got might have been next door in a different GP's office.

I think by 4 months they're so much more robust anyway, and your following all the guidelines. There is still not absolute conculsive research about whether it is riskier if you are follwing the guidelies anyway, so if you're happy I'd continue.

Trust your instincts if you feel your doing everything right & safely then carry on. Is mum happy? Is baby happy? If the answer is yes to both then roll with it, by all means try other alternatives but if they don't work out don't feel a failure to go back to what works for you

How about a sleepyhead cushion you have baby sleeping on in your bed. The sides make it harder for you to roll on baby, and you have it up high so less likely to cover in duvet

Sorry to hijack the thread, but how do you co-sleep safely? DD 4 months is going through the dreaded sleep regression stage at the moment and the only way she seems to get any sleep is in bed with me. I don't sleep, however, as I'm terrified that it's dangerous.

There are guidelines and co-sleeping is not recommended for everyone. There are some situations where it imposes a risk and as a parent you need to make an informed decision.

This NICE article is the more informative on assessing risk:

www.nice.org.uk/news/press-and-media/empowering-families-informed-choices-co-sleeping-babies

Do you smoke? Drink? Use drugs?

Did baby have low birth weight? Premature?

Whilst co-sleeping is entirely natural, burying your head in the sand with regards to all risks is not empowering. Knowing the risks and making an informed decision is empowering.

It's perfectly safe. You are following the guidance and happy doing it. Try not to let someone make you feel guilty for doing something that makes you and baby happy and as I said before is perfectly safe.

Would you feel better if I linked you some research about it safety?

I like the idea of co-sleeping, but only have a standard double bed and nowhere else for DH or I to sleep even if we wanted to do it that way.

So we compromised with a bedside cot. It didn't take as much space as I thought it would, meant I could lie close to DD, keep my arm against her side so that she wasn't able to overheat or be in danger, but was comforted by the contact and the warmth.

I could easily pat or rub her back to sooth her and is was easy to bring her a bit closer for a feed.

Friend of mine put their DS in his own room from 4 weeks old. Even if it didn't go against advice, I'm far too lazy to get up and go to another room if my DD woke for a feed.

Southernhippie

Interested in how you can say with such certainty that the OP is following guidance?

I am sure she is. But the fact that clear and obvious risk factors are so openly ignored on co-sleeping threads.

"It's perfectly safe" you say. So if the OP is drinking a bottle of wine every night then it's perfectly safe?

I am all for co-sleeping, from a personal point of view.

I am also all for responsible posting - something that some need a reminder about from time to time.

Provided you are doing it safely - no alcohol or drugs, no big duvets or fluffy pillows, nowhere that baby can roll into and get trapped - then by three months the risk of SIDS for co-sleeping babies is no different to that of babies sleeping in cots.