Managing after a c-section with a small age gap

[Lilipot15]

My DD will be 16 months when next one born. I'm generally happy with my decision to go for a planned section this time, but have been fretting about how it will be afterwards. DH will have 2 weeks paternity leave. I will have some help from my parents after that, but DD not fully settled in new nursery yet (we have recently moved) and I'm having wobbles about that. Plan was for two mornings, possibly 3.

I'm planning to stock up freezer, ask anyone who asks how they can help if they can provide food (?!), get a baby changing area at waist height both upstairs and downstairs, make sure all areas toddler-proofed for when I'm feeding/changing etc....double buggy on order, got a cloth sling....planning indoor and outdoor activities for toddler (but naturally because of her age her concentration span is limited).
Am I missing obvious things? DH leaves for work at 7.30, so he can hopefully dress DD and start breakfast whilst I hopefully get myself and baby organised and downstairs.
Am getting into habit of a tidy up last thing, making sure change bag ready etc. DH mucks in, but any suggestions of how we can make those first months easier welcome. I am fully aware that we will be exhausted!

Ds1 was 18 months when ds2 arrived. I bottle fed ds2 and got him in a routine around ds1 asap tbh. I found it useful to give ds1 a snack strapped in his highchair whilst I fed ds2 and I aimed to have ds1 in his cot for a nap whilst ds2 napped so that I could rest too. It's a bit of a shock going from one to two anyway I think but routines worked wonders for me.

Thanks, yes, DD not in a bad routine. Hoping to disrupt things as little as possible for her (but aware that a small baby is a MAJOR change for her).

I was planning to breastfeed but again bit worried about all the hours and hours that took initially, and I cannot see me having time / energy to express....I shan't beat myself up if I don't manage to BF this time. Hopefully summertime will mean that folk can take DD out for walks / trips to park etc....

I'll be having a 13 month age gap and having an elcs hopefully so watching with interest. Not sure if DS will be on the move or not.
My plan (and obviously I have no idea if this will work or not) is to get DH to take some annual leave as we have no one near to help. Try and stick to DS's routine and get DC2 to tag along to whatever he wants to go to as a newborn won't mind too much.
I'm unsure how bad the section will be recovery wise as it'll be my second. My emcs was surprisingly ok and I was up and about very soon, so hoping for the same

I had 19months between sections. I took the side off the cot for 19m ds and put a bed guard up - meant I didn't have to lift him at all, and put changing mat on the floor. I breastfed ds2 unlike ds1 and found it easier with a toddler -no bottles and no washing up and ds2 was quite happy to be fed here and there. We all fell into a nap routine together and the double buggy was ace apart from the side by side was heavy width wise and with my scar I couldn't put pressure on the tandem to lift it up kerbs with ds1 in the front so had to plan walks!

Velma your point about the buggies is good - I hadn't even thought of that. Have just invested in a light single buggy that reclines for DD, so maybe that's my best option with a sling for the newborn for some walks. No idea how a sling will be after a section - I couldn't really get on with the Bjorn last time but have a material one to try this time.
I'll have a think about the cot practicalities - it's the lifting that'll be tricky. I haven't been as diligent with exercising this pregnancy but hoping that regular lifting of a sturdy toddler has kept some strength up!!
Happy to share tips as they occur -
I found that an aerobics step helped me get out of bed with minimal pain.
I am keeping everything crossed that I don't have the horrendous cough I had last time - everytime I've had a cough since my operation I've thought "well at least I'm not bracing myself and clutching a scar that feels like it's about to burst".....oh the small things in life that make you happy!

Any other suggestions? Have folk used childcare for the slightly older one, and if so, what pattern?

Ds is 3 months. Dd was 13 months when he arrived and loved climbing at this stage. Also had 3 year old and 10 year old.
I stair gated the main downstairs room to stop dds from going in dining room and kitchen. I got everyone dressed down stairs and brushed teeth in downstairs bathroom to stop having to go up and down stairs with all 3. Put changing table on table.
Can you get someone to help you get out for walks in pram. I had help for 3 weeks after this section, although not all day. Family came and helped with tea time. Get some new toys/ hide some toys and get them out when you need to feed etc.
I was really worrying about my 4th coming but it wasn't that tough. I think once he/she is here and you find your routine it will be ok.

Also CBeebies is your friend. Don't worry about using tv to distract little ones.

I didn't get along with a sling with second baby (18 months apart, two c secs) and I am absolutely eternally grateful for the side by side out n about nipper my friends and family pooled together to get us. Absolute god sent.

For me, the second c section was much quicker in terms of recovery, after three weeks I could do basically everything by myself.

I cut corners in every way I could, from buying larger size nappies so I didn't have to change baby as often (obviously change after a pool but not if it was only a wee). I got one of those next to bed cot and would just roll over to feed him at night. Toddler had a bath every two or three days instead of ever day (and he survived!!). I had lots of babygrows so I didn't have to do the washing as often. Had many easy cook meals, ready cooked stuff and would do one large chicken once a week and much on that. Had food delivered. Hired a cleaner for two hours a week to clean bathrooms, clean floors, clean kitchen.

Thanks, will put extra stairgate on list. Larger sized nappies - what a good idea! And rotating toys also good, have realised that those which have been out of the way whilst we've unpacked from the move have gained a new lease of life (if only I had too!!)

Also teach your older child how to climb up stairs and down safely now.. That way you only have to walk with them not carry them. And getting into high chair and pushchair. Things like lunch can happen on a blanket in the front room...

I had an elcs 10 days ago, home after 2 days in hosp, I only needed painkillers for 2 days at home. I also was fretting (my age gap is slightly bigger than yours though) but wanted to reassure you as long as you make time to sit down in the early days recovery is surprising. I'm up and down on the floor with ds1 and I've even managed a slow walk to the park. I fretted over my decision too but know now it was the right thing to do. Hope it all goes smoothly for you too good luck!!

Smileysar congratulations on your new baby and thanks for letting me know about your good experience. This time I know the importance of early rest, and hopefully will start off from a better place in that I won't have been labouring and in hospital for best part of 3 days.

Yes definitely just don't try and be a martyr and accept all help that's offered! I think you'll be well prepared hope it all goes well x

Thanks - I think with in-laws I will completely need to spell out what help I need when they visit, was totally exhausted yesterday after their visit and realised I'd done all the running around. Fortunately my parents are significantly more practical, plus it is less difficult to "ask" them for help if you know what I mean!

Do you have a garden? If so order sandpit for eldest, and comfy garden chairs etc.

Then you can give lunch outside every day ( saves cleaning mess indoors, bird can eat it), and eldest can play outside every day in summer. Baby bath 1/2 filled with water and toys is easy entertainment.

15 month gap here. Dh would take eldest in the evening for a long walk/ to the park/ for a swim after work so that if I didn't actually get out it meant he still went somewhere.

We have always done later bedtime than most which I think helped loads. 9pm bedtime for both meant eldest slept until 8.30/9am. So dh would go to work early and be home around 6pm. It meant I actually only had them alone 9 hours awake rather than 11/12 if they had gone to bed earlier and up earlier. They also napped late afternoon. Then 6-9pm dh was around to like I say take eldest out an hour for a good walk or play, then help with dinner etc so I wasn't dealing with all that alone. It's light late in the summer

Oh and if newborn had been awake frequently in night, I would just breastfed eldest also and gave banana etc in bed and we would read books together, or he would use a mega sketcher ( drawing without mess), for a good hour or more in bed after he woke so I could still half rest and easily feed baby.

Art, thanks, yes we will use the garden more I think. There is also a park round the corner so a quick trip out there is easy. Will look at things to occupy eldest whilst I do those first morning feeds too...

Years ago for me all this. Also my DS was 5, when DD born. Now 24 and 18! But DS is severely disabled, so issues re lifting/carrying complicated further, as he was pre hoist. I took it easy, my then H helped with DS, my late DM helped with breakfast etc for a few weeks.

But, what I do remember is that BF just seemed more relaxed. I did on demand, but also introduced a formula bottle at tea time. Freed me up to spend time with DS, and also meant I didn't bother with expressing as she happily took formula (unlike DS). Meant I could rest/get out/do stuff with DS if we wanted to. Did mixed feeding for about a year, mainly BF.

MrsP - yes, I've been considering the evening bottle of formula. I expressed for that last time and we were lucky to have no bottle-refusing issues, but I remember spending time expressing which I just won't have! The fact that I haven't looked hard for my pump amongst the baby stuff probably tells me something too....
My parents are getting tee'd up to help me first thing in the early weeks too.