Does it all get easier after a year?

[moomin35]

Does parenting and doing stuff get easier once you're baby is one or older? We've found it so difficult to do regular stuff since baby was born and our relationship has suffered too.

Hmm I think it depends, mine was a breeze until 17/18 months then became seriously hard work for a year.

Not sure how old your little one is OP but from 6 months onwards things started to get better as ds was so frustrated before he could crawl around/sit by himself and required a lot of carrying etc. He started sleeping through at 9 months post sleep training which is much better for me. I think the going out for lunch varies from baby to baby. Ds will currently sit as long as he is eating but I'm sure that won't last forever and he wouldn't have before 7/8 months. Definitely get babysitters etc for a few hours whenever works best for you over lunch/dinner to have some quality time

Nicky: they really vary. Sometimes dd just won't sit still but other times she'll happily play with books etc. Someone actually came up to us in a restaurant once to say how well behaved dd was. I didn't point out it was a rare occurrence

Our tactic is if dd is tired/unwell/just generally grumpy then we won't attempt it. Having other (older, well behaved) kids there helps as dd will tend to copy their behaviour. And if all else fails there's the iPad...

Thanks all for your realistic and helpful stories.

I have a few killjoy mates who from the day I said I was pregnant have been "You WAIT the next stage is HELL with no redeeming qualities", varying from FB comments to texts.
It was in all seriousness getting me down. I sleep about 4 hr a night ... don't need to hear my current life (weaning shits, poor sleep, constant worry about slow weight gain, teething...) is cushy and I'm going to be hit with real misery next.

This thread is so refreshing - mn should share it!!

Ds is 18 months. I'm finding it much easier than the baby stage. Toddlers are hard work, but they are also some much fun, I think I've laughed more in the last few months than I have in the previous ten years.

Eating out is hit and miss. Sometimes he will sit for a good while (with books/colouring pencils) other times he will tantrum as soon as you sit down and refuse to eat anything. If he is put down in a restaurant /cafe he will make a beeline for anything breakable or an open door. Speed eating is important

I think it depends on the child. it was easier for me from 3 months when he stopped being an annoying crybaby/newborn and every month when I don't think he could be any cuter it just got better, and better, and better. Then he started moving and doing more and is so much fun. although dh and i rarely have dates alone anymore we are pretty happy. For eating out def helps that both of us have always been champion speed eaters. When i got pregnant when he was 6 months everyone said good luck you r mad. I never get why ppl say next stage is hell, its been a lot of joy and new experiences constantly. I dont find it hard work just worry a lot more when sick etc. But when he is fine his silly chuckles and naughty antics daily just melts me x

Ignore your killjoy mates Squiz, although I'm being very honest in that I found the toddler stage way harder than the baby stage, it still had plenty of redeeming qualities, and I had a relatively easy baby - slept quite well, only a few scattered days of teething misery, weaned easily (although I hated it) etc. I was definitely due a stage I hated by 16 months as I loved lots of the first 16!

At what age do they sit and colour?

Well mine's 2.3 and colouring doesn't hold his attention for very long at all. Maybe 5 minutes? That could just be him though!

Mines 18 months, she will maybe colour for 3 minutes!

Totally depends on the child - I had an 'easy' baby who slept well, (I never had a broken nigh) two long naps in the day, happy to be left to play alone in a play pen, could easily be left in a creche/with friends, loved play school, ate everything ........................ lovely years .............. and now he's a teenager .

Rag I am green with envy reading your post! I've had one unbroken night's sleep in 18 months and she's never napped longer than an hour in the day. I'll keep my fingers crossed for an angelic teenager

moomin Mine's 3.2 now and has zero interest in colouring. Will scribble for about 1 min, but after that just likes watching me draw/write things.

My DD only at 5 sat and coloured for 15 mins - never sat still long enough before then. DS at 4 will scribble for max 5 mins. They just aren't those type of children. Friends DDs would sit and colour for ages at 3. Mine however can climb anything and rode pedal bikes with no stabilisers at 3.5. They are sport mad. Both academically ahead but never sit still either

With dd1 it all got unbelievably easier after a year. She was a tricky clingy baby until about 7 or 8 months but started sleeping through like a dream from 13 months. From quite young she has been easy to bring out for lunch, so long as stickers and colouring came too of course. Just generally amenable. So for me toddlerdom was exhausting but much preferable to baby stage which I did not really enjoy.

Baby stage again with dc2 aged 6 months and enjoying it even less :( would love to believe that it will get easier again once dc2 is a year and dc1 is 4 - I'm not convinced though!

I found life got easier when they went to school.

My dd is 16 and doing her Gcses, and we are worrying about colleges/ uni. I long for the baby years!

Yes, so much easier!

DD could tell us what she wanted. Go in the car without screaming, have long day time naps without me holding her.

She is 2.1 now and an absolute joy. Now I'm about to do it all again (well, in 14 weeks time!)

Life certainly gets easier when baby sleeps more and becomes more independent. When it come to eating out, we persisted with this from when each DD were a few months old. I found the successful meals were down to good timing, good planning and choice of venue. Generally noisy, busy places worked best for us as it kept them busy watching everything and it didn't matter if they were busy. As they get older its possible to keep them with books and toys. The persistence has definitely paid off because they have always been able to sit through lengthy family meals without any issues.

I found the first year a struggle with lack of sleep, the constant business and worries of am I doing the right thing. I think I am ott with my concerns though, maybe normal pfb in hindsight but anyway she is now 18 months and we have a real laugh now as she's talking more and has a great sense of humour. I would say its still hard at times but it's easier for me to deal with if that makes sense. I trust my instincts, I know her and what she will like and won't like. I've learnt not to stop and think before I snap at Dp and he the same. I think when they sleep better that is a real turning point. In regard to eating out, we are same as many others in that it's all geared around entertaining her and it's in and out really to pizza express or a carvery and the like. She likes to do colouring on paper with crayons but how long depends on her mood. If I want to eat out I do an activity like run about at park or soft play before hand so she's ran off a bit of energy and perhaps in the mood to sit and play or colouring in. this has worked 3 out of the 5 times we've been out in the last 8 months
Easier to say I know but I try to enjoy our time together as much as possible as she's growing so fast!

No it doesn't. You just get used to it.

NickiFury does actually have a point. It's easier but not easier once they start school. You have more stuff to remember once they're at school even though they're away six hours each day.

It gets more stressful in some ways.