Not as good as grandma...

[spancake]

I have a nearly 4 year old DS and I work full time. My boy goes to nursery 3 days and the other 2 he spends with his grandma (my MIL) who is a retired primary teacher. She is amazing with him, and he absolutely worships her. They do all the fun stuff together whilst I'm working (they go swimming, the park, bike riding, the zoo and she plays with him literally constantly, she's at his beck and call the whole time) and I feel like he actually prefers her to me. He cries when she leaves. By the time I get home he's knackered, I'm knackered and it's pretty much bed time. By the time chores are done at the weekend it's the same. Has anyone ever been in the same position and can offer some advice? I feel like a second rate parent I can't possibly compete with her.

try not to worry. its lovely that they have such a strong bond, but nothing can top the bond you two have

can you try to let chores go a little? or do a little each night when he's in bed to have a free weekend?

Are there any chores you could not do yourself, like hire a cleaner?

My son is the same with my mum, he thinks the sun sets and rises on her. But it is lovely to see how much he loves his Nan-Nan and my mum does adore him. You cannot help that you have to work, I would perhaps do some of the chores during the week. I know you are knackered but if it meant spending more time with my son at the weekend I would happily go to bed shattered from work and chores.

Or let some of the chores slide, does your oh help? Time yourself and get as much done early on in the day quickly and then the rest of the weekend is yours.

Thank you all for your kind replies. i do let the chores slide, but it gets me down and my husband does help as much as he can. i just dont feel as natural and as fun as grandma, we are quite short of cash and i struggle to play as creatively, naturally and easily as she does.

She's an ex primary teacher, I'd expect her to be creative. Seriously, though she sounds fab, and it's natural to feel , kids don't need full-on 24-7 and your son is getting two days full-on with her and three days social interaction at nursery. Sounds great, I would be thrilled for my son...as for you, why can't you be the fun chilled out one ie you microwave popcorn, get a booster seat and put it on your sofa and have 'cinema night' once a week where you sit and watch Cars.
Weekends there also used to be £1 movie mornings at local cinema.
You could pick up some board games like snakes and ladders/jenga/dominoes from charity shop or Oxfam and do games session on a weekend. What does her son/your dh do with him?

I feel like this sometimes with my ds (also 4) and his cm, who is amazing. Mary Poppins has nothing on her! I really just cherish and embrace the evenings and weekends, try to have as much family fun and memory making as possible. Or if he's shattered from the week, draw the curtains, make it as dark as possible, make some popcorn and watch a dvd cuddled up on the sofa. Ds adores his cm but at weekends when i jokingly ask if he'd like to go to his cm, he invariably responds "No. I want to stay home with you and daddy." Honestly there is no substitute for the relationship between parent and child. You're his world. It's just great he has so many lovely people in his life!

Plus, your mil has 5 days off 'parenting' a week and no job to recover, I'd be Mary Poppins on acid if i got 5 days between bouts of parenting!!
'Mother is the name of God to children' so the saying goes or something very similar